Plank removed from eye, too late for WAW? 8

[Heimlich]

The good news is, I think there's a lot you haven't tried yet. Like hearing her out and not arguing with her. Like just validating what she says instead of how you meant it.

I've never got a chance to do this. That's the rub. All I've ever gotten from her were: I'm unhappy, I'm done, We can't work, I don't want to do this, My feelings can't change.

I've never heard from her about what she things went wrong, mistakes I made, etc. GD's right, I've a good idea of what those are, but I never have had the chance to really validate anything because I get nothing from her. A lot of the recent "R" talks is really me telling her that I realize that I made a lot of mistakes because she never said. I guess that's what closure is, at least for me -- I'd like to hear from her why it won't work, what her reasons/thinking is beyond "I just don't feel that way." And, honestly, if it boils down to "I just don't feel that way," my head says I'm better off without her (heart's following a little further behind).

So, that self-justification out -- you're both right with the above. Time for me to stop talking and start living.

Still, it's hard. My head says that this is probably the right way to go. At the same time, one of the things that Michelle says is "you're your own R expert." I continue to have thoughts that if she would do something like KLA or another solution-based program, there'd be a good chance to move forward. And because our previous R dynamic was of me pushing her to be open, it's hard to back off from that.

At any rate, no intention of talking to her, but showing her via an increasingly clean and straightened apt, being on top of scheduling with the girls, and a better me (physically and emotionally) that she's walking away from a lot.

Word of caution for everyone, beware of phone calls and be quick to abort. That first call on Wed spiralled out of control quickly because my emotions got out of hand, which surprised me.

LRT, LRT, LRT

BD

BD