My wife and I have been married for 9 years( will be 10 this coming march) and have 3 wonderful kids together. We have been separated for 6 months now. She has her own apartment now. It feels like things keep going back and forth. She has been talking with another guy and I had been talking with another woman. She says they are just friends but I'm not so sure. I will admit my wrong doing by admitting that I did sleep with the woman I was talking to once. But in my defense my wife had been telling me that she wanted a divorce and no longer wanted to be with me. I was ready to start moving on with my life, after all we had already been separated for 6 months. Well my wife just happened to show up at my house while me and this other woman were just talking while walking my dog. I was feeling really frustrated and she is easy to talk to. I don't know if it was the jealousy thing or she woke up, but now she is saying she wants to go to counseling to see if anything is left to save, but she isn't sure if this is what she wants. I had told this other woman what was going on and explained to her that I needed to give up our friendship for my wife's sake. my wife won't do the same for me. Right now I can't talk to her without getting ignored in some way. I am beginning to think that she doesn't want me to be happy or since she doesn't want me, nobody else can either. I do love my wife but have grown very tired of all of this. My wife says we need to go to counseling but won't set anything up and won't tell me a time she is free to go so I can set something up. Any advice?
Me: 28 W:29 3 kids D8 S4 D2 Married:9 Seperated: 5/13/07 and hating every minute of it
Dating others has been a way to bust divorce..It may be like you said jealousy, possessiveness or maybe the spouse needs to see their mate as someone they could lose before theyare ready to recommit. I think you should go to counseling. You were absolutely right to be honest to your friend about being with your wife but if you really want to save your marriage, and you do not sound so sure. You may not be able to expect your W to do the same thing. If you have three kids and 9 years together you owe it to youir family to do everything in your power to reconnect with the mother of your children. But of course I am biased because I am on a Divorce Busting Forum!!! Sometimes spouses will not give up someone waiting in the wings but if you build some trust with your wife, she can trust you and love you and begin anew. Good luck and keep the faith.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Your W is probably just getting a bit of a wake up call by seeing you with another woman.
Post up some more details.... like what you've been through to end up separated and how the separation has gone. Did you pursue early on? What was the reason for the sep?
Wondering if dating others is indeed a way to bust divorce. My wife tells me that I am free to date and move on with my life. Any experience with such statements?
We have been through some rough times and I admit I haven't been the easiest person to live with. In fact, looking back now, I was an outright a$$hole to her at times. But I love her to death. She is my world to me. I guess I know how she felt at times through the years. Anyways, the separation began last May. Months prior to that she had picked up a new girlfriend, who happened to be going through a divorce at the time. She had started going to a bar with this friend to have fun. I didn't mind at first, but it started to continue into every weekend. In her defense she does love to sing karioke. This new friend of hers started telling me when I was becoming upset with the fact that my wife is closing down bars now, that she wasn't doing anything wrong, just having fun. Well she had met a guy through her new friend, and they had started talking. She had started lying to me and her parents to go meet this guy so they could talk about our problems. Well her new best friend decided that she didn't like this guy and that my wife didn't need to be around him, so she called me and told me that she was seeing another guy. Yes I did go confront her about it and things did get out of hand on my part, but I am now dealing with the legal issue that has taught me a very valuable lesson. Don't lose your temper and know when to walk away. I know I am still lucky that she is talking to me. This wasn't the reason she moved out though, she had already been moved out for two months. Another thing that has come up lately is that she didn't want to give me hope that she was waiting for me to come around to my senses. So here I was, wanting to be with someone that showed no interest in me but told everyone that she wanted it to work out, everyone except me. And she wondered why I felt soo frustrated at times. I have finally took it upon myself to just schedule an appointment with the counselor since that is what she finally told me to do, instead of telling me when she was available. I know this seems like a big mess, but she was my first love, my first everything. So here I am announcing it to the world, I love this woman! Am I crazy for all of this??
Me: 28 W:29 3 kids D8 S4 D2 Married:9 Seperated: 5/13/07 and hating every minute of it
