I am a little scared. My mother called tonight. She suffered a heart attack at work a few years ago on Christmas. She is almost 62 and she was going to retire her business to my H next February. She has given me several nights where I am the manager but she is fed up. She was scolding me to teach full time and to give up working nights. She wants me to take care of myself or else she will have another heart attack trying to help support me and my kids. My H is just giving me a couple of hundred here and there when he gets pais. Nothing for two and half months though until yesterday. H is so unreliable. Obviously. Maybe my mother is just bluffing so I wil say I will take over the business. I signed a part time teaching contract until August. Even if I taught full time I would barely make ends meet in Northern California. I live in one of the priciest places in the country. To compare my mom makes in one weeken what I make in a whole month teaching full time. She banks in one year what it would take me 6 years to make because teachers are paid so low in my district. Oh and H. He makes about $16 hour at his state job. Good for a kid right out of high school but it is hard for someone who has to support a family at the age of 39. Ugh. The money sitch could be worse but Xmas is gonna be cookies this year.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
my neighbours' son is home for the holidays. We have known him since he was a kid. He joined the Navy and he always looked up to us especially my H. This boy has not been home for a long time and he does not know our sitch but his parents do. I asked him if he was going out with his friends to the mall. he laughed that he was legal age so he could go to the clubs. I laughed and asked how old he was because I still picture him as a kid in an arcade. He replied, "23! I can drink beer now!" Then I though if my H could only hear that Little John has grown into an adult, yet this boy is the same age and generation as his young mistress. H needs to see their R for what it is, a disgusting fling of a man in a MLC who looks ridiculous. Sorry. It really does not bother me that much, it is just a moment amplified.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
More Rambling: I went to the concert and luckily it was not like a date more like hanging out with a group of friends. No kissing or drinking or flirting. Just a lot of fun and music.
Tomorrow is a film showing of another Bachelor. Again not an official date, I guess people just hang out now and hook up. They do not seem to really go out on formal dates??? I would not know since I have not dated in 14 or more years it seems? Humph. A whole new world.
Donna is right. I should hang out with all three and just not get too attached. I am kind of scared if I lose my job at the club I may never meet a man again for the rest of my life. I mean it. You should hear the horror stories in teachers' lounges. It is a virtual No Man's Land in there. Yikes. It is like one single man for every 20 single female teachers!! No lie!!! The opposite is true in the club.
Last edited by mkultra; 11/16/0706:37 AM.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
You give me hope, because in civilian life, I'm a HS administrator! 20 women for every guy! I don't have any desire to date or be with anyone else. Iraq makes that difficult anyway:)
It's always easier from the outside, and I know you love your husband to death, but it sounds to me if this doesn't work out, you'll be losing a rock steady mate.
At 23, I still didn't know what I wanted to do when I grew up! I thought if I could make $10,000 a year and teach middle school, I'd be happy forever!
She will grow out of this, and then where does that leave him? Alone. Period. How do you ever explain to your kids that you left their mom for someone half your age? For what? Yeah, it's flattering for him, but what happens when a 24 year old stud turns her head? Do you think she'll want the guys with the bad Hawaii T-shirt??? And...$16 an hour to boot!
Let him go. Make believe it's over. Live for you and your kids. They need a parent!
It infuriates me, because all I want is to be with my W. and kids (the W. I met in 1985, before she was filled with anger), and I may not get that opportunity.
You give me hope, because in civilian life, I'm a HS administrator! 20 women for every guy! I don't have any desire to date or be with anyone else. Iraq makes that difficult anyway:)
It's always easier from the outside, and I know you love your husband to death, but it sounds to me if this doesn't work out, you'll be losing a rock steady mate.
At 23, I still didn't know what I wanted to do when I grew up! I thought if I could make $10,000 a year and teach middle school, I'd be happy forever!
She will grow out of this, and then where does that leave him? Alone. Period. How do you ever explain to your kids that you left their mom for someone half your age? For what? Yeah, it's flattering for him, but what happens when a 24 year old stud turns her head? Do you think she'll want the guys with the bad Hawaii T-shirt??? And...$16 an hour to boot!
Let him go. Make believe it's over. Live for you and your kids. They need a parent!
It infuriates me, because all I want is to be with my W. and kids (the W. I met in 1985, before she was filled with anger), and I may not get that opportunity.
You give me hope, because in civilian life, I'm a HS administrator! 20 women for every guy! I don't have any desire to date or be with anyone else. Iraq makes that difficult anyway:)
It's always easier from the outside, and I know you love your husband to death, but it sounds to me if this doesn't work out, you won't be losing a rock steady mate.
At 23, I still didn't know what I wanted to do when I grew up! I thought if I could make $10,000 a year and teach middle school, I'd be happy forever!
She will grow out of this, and then where does that leave him? Alone. Period. How do you ever explain to your kids that you left their mom for someone half your age? For what? As I recall he said "My kids won't respect me for this one day" REALLY? Yeah, it's flattering for him, but what happens when a 24 year old stud turns her head? Do you think she'll want the guys with the bad Hawaii T-shirt??? And...$16 an hour to boot!
Let him go. Make believe it's over. Live for you and your kids. They need a parent!
It infuriates me, because all I want is to be with my W. and kids (the W. I met in 1985, before she was filled with anger), and I may not get that opportunity.
mk, I know all of this is hard for you right now. the job thing must be so tough...hard to pass up good $, especially where you live.
the beauty is your kids won't care if christmas is lighter this year. kids are so happy with so little at this age...little things go a long way. and as for everyone else, well, hell, they will understand. if they don't, they are idiots.
as for the guys, how was the guy last night? I know it wasn't date-like, but would you be interested in following up with a date? will be interested to hear how tomorrow goes...that's with the beckham look-alike, right?
am not going to address the man-shortage. ugh. depressing thought. I know h's ow used to complain about it...how sad is that. we switched places. not that I'm complaining, at least not yet, because I haven't been out looking. but she used to. guess that's why she went for a married one. whore. anyway, not sure clubs are the place to meet the guys I want to meet, but who knows. I still think networking is probably best...think 6 degrees of separation. everyone you know knows people you don't, etc, etc. There is bound to be someone that would be a good match for you out of all of the poeple the people we know know, right? (does that make sense? I'm on very little sleep here).
as for the age thing and yours, hell yeah I'd be thinking about it, too. its weird. I'm guessing she has huge daddy issues. and your h obviously has many issues. together, they are just a big ol' mess.
hey, have been watching gilmore girls, season 3...target has it for only $13 this week. nice. trying to draw comfort from it. funny how much I get from it. I just know our lukes are out there somewhere.
anyway, good to see you again. I'm over on surviving the big d now if you want to stop by. just feels more appropriate for my situation, I guess. blech.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Thanks for asking. It was a whole different world to be with such an interesting man who is so well spoken and poised and who looks like Beckham. I am not a jealous person and I do not play games but my goodness, if I could let it leak to my H that I was out with this one. Well, he is moving to Hollywood but I will "hang out" while he is here for the next few months. I am wondering about stuff. You know. Stuff. I don't think I am ready for all that stuff. I am not waiting for my H to be back but there are two camps of thought on this stuff.
1. Just date, go out to dinner, have friendships, companionship. Don't fall in love. Just have fun. No physical stuff until a final divorce or at least a legal separation with intent to divorce. who knows.
2. Find a stuff buddy. Meaningless. No attachments. Is that even possible? Either way I do not want my kids to meet anyone I date, If i should accept this mission, until after a divorce and until I am sure they would be good stock and not deceitful. Sounds highly improbable.
I honestly do not think I could do either. Stuff without love? Stuff just for stuff's sake?
Again, I have moved on and detached from H. I do not miss him or ache to see him. I actually do not want him to even know who I am seeing. I want my privacy BUT I do not want to see him with his whore anywhere and it offends me to the bone that she works in an adult boutique maybe only eight stores down from my work, and that he is there all the time with her so that all my customers and employees see him hanging out like a total loser prevert married dirty old man in a sex shop. Sicko. My H is dead, this creep murdered him and assumed his identity. Did I mention I was detached?
Last edited by mkultra; 11/19/0712:17 AM.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
sounds like you had a good time. I think going out, having some fun, meeting some new people is a good thing. I'm slowly getting ready for it myself, although I'm not sure how long it will be before I am ready for a full fledged relationship. at the same time, I've never been good at dating...I've always been a R type of girl. so will be a whole new challenge. but I will definitely take the lorelai gilmore approach...she sheilded rory from that side of her life until max. and then it was a fluke that they ran into each other. I just want to know its something very long term/permanent before they meet anyone I am with. I don't want them to feel any more desertion, should they get attached to a person I am with and that r should end. I don't know, lots to think about on that front.
as for a stuff buddy (I assume I know what you mean by stuff?), well, btdt years and years ago and it didn't work out. I thought I was pretty smooth about it, and definitely upfront about it, and thought I had a good thing going, but the guy got too attached. I backed off, he promised he wouldn't, I went with it, then I was the one who ended up too attached. I'm just not cut out for it. I think its one of those good in theory things, but in practice, not so good.
now, that said, I don't think love is necessary, either. love to me is something I have only shared with 2 men in my life. and my "stuff" number is higher than that. I don't regret any, except the one I tried to use a true stuff-buddy (this is cracking me up) because we were good friends...we didn't date, I didn't want that kind of R with him. dating and doing stuff, well, that is different. but then again, I would want it to be exclusive.
wow, I'm just really musing here on your thread. so much to think about.
hope you are well. keep us updated. I miss seeing you around!
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
