hi lin Im so depressed that my H moved back to his apt. Im really sorry that I told him to unplug the phone at apt. H didnt call me and son all day. My son didnt go to school today because he was so depressed that H left. I feel so guilty for not zipping my lip. I guess the best thing to do now is not contact him or do you think I should apologize?
If I were you I would email (less emotional and easier to pick your words) and admit that you feel it was wrong to give him that ultimatum...your sorry, you will leave it to him to do the right thing for you all...and acknowledge that these things take time...and to ask for his patience with you...and then leave him alone...wait to see what he does...
I know it is hard...but it takes time to break free of the emotional needs of the A/OW...you MUST let him get over her on his own...I know my H had contact after he came home and it was hard for me to know that...but when I really thought about it I could understand...it just takes time...you can't make feelings end...
Ok ladies, it's still my thread. Really, I don't mind. I just want to get a word in edgewise.
My W is acting really wierd these past few days. Wednesday, we had a 10 a.m. mediator meeting that she sent me an e-mail reminder on, with the correct time, last week. Well, she didn't show up even though she's the one who initiated this process. I called her from the mediator's office and she said she thought the meeting was at 10:30. By then it was too late and we had to cancel. When I got back to my home office, she was in the den on her computer. We spoke civilly, but she refused to turn around from the computer to look at me. She also avoided all eye contact when I saw her since then.
Also, the next day, she suggested twice that I bring "someone" with me to our daughter's program on Saturday because it was going to be all women there and I might feel lonely (I've never metnioned dating to her, so I don't know if she's curious or what).
It's been 4 1/2 months since she dropped the bomb and brought her A out into the open. I don't want to read too much into all this, but she's never acted this way until now.
I think the approaching Thanksgiving holiday may be working on her. I get the kids this time and we are spending it in Palm Springs with all her family as we always have done when we were together, much to her very strenuous objections. She has long planned a trip with the OM to Texas to meet his family over Thanksgiving, but she is very upset about being the only one that won't be with the kids and her family.
Whatever is causing it, she is very uptight and very unlike the aggressive shove-the-A-and-the-OM-down-everyone's-throat attitude she's had til now. Any thoughts are welcome.
M 63 W 40 M 4/91 S14/D9 bomb 7/6/07 D filed 8/3/07 final 2/4/08 thread
Don't try to figure anything out. The circuits in her head may be starting so short out.
Kind of like the saying "I always lie" Wait then you are telling the truth? no wait you said you alway lie.but if you alway lie then you are telling the truth, ECT......... Does not compute. I want my family but I want to go to Texas. but if I go to texas I can't have my family but I want my family.......
Don't try to figure it out just smile... H
Last edited by husband; 11/16/0704:07 AM.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
sounds like she is feeling really torn inside...just step back...don't try and help her solve any of this...she knows where the kids will be so if she really wants to be there she can...if the OM is more important then her kids and family (for now, this could/will change) then so be it...
As husband said...give her space....she fighting the demons of her own conscience and the battle of her own mind...guilt is a terrible bedfellow even if you try and convince everyone that your right....
Husband and Lin: Good advice from both of you. As time goes on, I think her internal stress is increasing while mine is going down. (That's why I changed my screen name). I especially like the robot/computer analogy. She does seem to be "shorting out."
I appreciate your wisdom.
LL
M 63 W 40 M 4/91 S14/D9 bomb 7/6/07 D filed 8/3/07 final 2/4/08 thread
