I'm taking some liberties here, but I've come to think of you as my kid brother who is making some bad mistakes and what's worse, possibly about to make some even bigger ones.
Brother, if I was there I'd smack you upside the head. You "would like to" postpone the wedding? Are you looking for her permission or something? How come when she's "depressed/sad" for a day you're all over it like a fat kid on a smartie, but when you're depressed for effing MONTHS over this, she tells you to get lost? And then you gave her a perfect opportunity to s*it on you again by asking for sex? Time to grow a pair, you know what I'm saying? Do yourself and your future relationships a favor and get "No More Mr. Nice Guy".
Here's what I think happens with a lot of LD wives. Maybe with LD husbands too, but I'm only an expert on LD wives. I think there's a power imbalance at play. And when the woman has too much power, there is no desire.
Let me take some guesses, you tell me if it fits your bill:
-You consider yourself very romantic. Flowers for no reason, phone calls just to say I love you, that sort of thing. -You like to spoil her, especially at birtdays, Christmas, etc -You are always concerned with how she is feeling, what you can do to make her happy -Her friends have been known to say how lucky she is to have you because of how wonderful you are to her -You feel that because of the romantic gestures, you will make her so happy that she will desire you
Essentially, you worship her, and as long as she has that power over you, she will never change. All you did by trying to console her was show her exactly where she stands: on a pedestal with you wrapped around her pinky finger.
She is not concerned in the least about your feelings, and she never will be. LD/HD problems are not insurmountable, but only if a)both parties can even agree that there's a problem and b)both parties are willing to do what it takes to improve.
Dude, I wish I could make you understand the pain you will face for the rest of your life if you continue with this relationship. I'm talking P-A-I-N. The kind of pain that makes me cry some mornings on the drive to work, pain so bad that I don't think I'll ever be happy again, pain that is so all encompassing that even though I love my kids from the bottom of my heart, I wish I had never married my wife. Can you imagine what it's like for a guy who loves his kids so much to admit that he wishes he never married his wife? I'm so ashamed of it, but that is the kind of pain I'm in, my friend. And because of those kids that I love so much, I'm stuck with it for probably the next 20 years, on top of the 10 years I've already gone through. 30 years of gut-wrenching pain. I could rob a dozen banks and be free in less than that!
Please, please tell me this is getting through to you. Please, please tell me you are going to end this relationship NOW. Just get up, say goodbye and walk. Even though you're a stranger, I can't stomach the thought of you doing what I and so many others here have done. Please, put my mind at ease and let us all know that you've left her. Please.
