CVA - Figuring out What's Next

[L21959]

((CVA and Sunny)) --

There's a 'pusherSunny' ??? I guess it's the manifestation of your WAW persona... Which means, I'm even more impressed with what you've done and shared, sunnyokie!!!

Sending big hugs to both of you...((( )))

L2

[Gone Dancin']

Hope your C sesh went okay, CVA. Post when you're willing and able.

GD

[Handful of Rain]

CVA, Good Luck with C'ing session, I am praying for you! Take care.

[Puddle]

Holy moly, CVA! It makes complete sense that your W would be willing to talk to you with a neutral third party around. Probably too late to send good vibes your way for the session, but I'm doing it anyway. I hope it went well!

Take care, ((((((CVA)))))).

[ItsKat]

Wow, C. I am hoping the best for you.

(((CVA)))

[Not Much Left]

Hey, thanks everyone, that was really nice to see after I pulled myself out of the post C funk.

So much to say, I will make it as brief as possible.

So my heart is beatin like a bunny rabbit before I walk in...

She meets w/ C first...CVA comes back in, and the table is set with "W, why dont you tell C what you are here for..."Not to reconcile"....Thud, gut/ball kicker, nice way to start. I assumed that but was hard to hear.

As Nomo told me, "what did I expect?, she actually showed up! Thats good".

Did some dialogue therapy, listen, affirm, empathize stuff. Interesting, but definitely geared to "couples" not really something you would put in practice with someone you are NOT going to be married to.

Ended w/ C saying to W if she wants to come back..."yes". After a pause and realizing she should ask me out of courtesy she says, "and C, are you ok with that?" LOOOONNNGGG Pause from me which shocked even me....uhhhmmmm, yes, but and here comes Pusher CVA...."I NEED PARTICIPATION FROM YOU W!" I was calm the whole time then at the end let old CVA out and pressured her even though she HAD shown up.

In the parking lot, I had to talk to her about the Hearing coming up the day after Thanksgiving Wknd. Told her there was a lot to go through and I did not think it was in our collective best interest to run everything through the lawyers.

Talked to her later basically talking to her as if we are getting divorced here is what I want to do....She agreed, and said we could sit down Saturday and go through everything then last night she emailed me and said she had called her attorney to cancel the Hearing given that we would work out an arrangement betweeen us. Hmmmmmm. I feel good that she finally has enough trust in me not to screw her over. One step toward a better R assuming we get divorced.

I think that when I talked "as if" we were getting divorced,she totally relaxed and it may have even changed her view of me. Like "oh, puppy dog CVA is not there anymore, I am not sure how to react to that?"


Now for the interesting stuff...H, GD, Nomo, PAY ATTENTION!!!

I go to look at a house Wed afternoon. Show up and this "hot mom" answers the door. OMG, its my W's twin! 5'3, 100lbs, gulp!

I go through the house, all the while I'm thinking, hmmm, what's up with her?

I leave and tell her I will give her a call back, clearly my type but not thinking anything past potentially buying her house which is pretty close to my house and the right size.

SHe calls me yesterday and says she can move quickly so dont worry about kicking her out if I need a place quick, she understands my sitch and feels for me as she went though it too. Calls back and invites me to be at her house with all her friends during Tgiving if I am not spending with my family.

Hmmmmmm. I call her back and say thanks for the msgs, really appreciated the thought. Says she is going to be out that night with her girlfriends and I boldly said I would love to chat with her sometime about ....whatever, who knows what I said at that pt, and she invites me out w/ her girlfriend.

I go workout after work, trying to shake off the intense stress / anxiety from the day and meet her and her friends out at a restaurant / bar in our area. Uhhhmmmm, ouch. I walk in, she is super hot, sits next to me the whole time, a touch or two on the legs, arms whatever, very flirty. I think she is just "that way" but it felt good nevertheless.

What have I been missing? Man, I was telling Sunny last night after all that that I am so deprived, I pretty much just was sitting there in a stupor thinking, "omg, this is nice".



Anyway, maybe more on that later. Need to work some now.

[Puddle]

Holy cow, CVA! All good stuff, especially W being willing to talk and canceling the hearing---excellent!

And the woman? Definitely flirting---pretty bold of both of you to set up a get-together that quick. Sounds like you had fun, and I know you could use some of that. I'm happy for you.

More later, just wanted to pop in. Take care.

[Gone Dancin']

Go CVA! Awesome PMA boost!

As tempting as it is to jump into that dating world right now, make sure you're ready and you've done the work on yourself. Just go out, have fun, nothing serious. Enjoy yourself, but take care of yourself too.

That was VERY fun to read, my friend! Good for you!

GD

(Oh yeah, and the C and W stuff was good too! )

[Not Much Left]

Thanks GD, keeping all that in mind. Weird how your day can be in the Sh*%ter and 2 hours later your talking to someone, arguably very cute, not really thinking a thing!

[Heimlich]

Need to work some now.

And maybe a cold shower?

Good stuff, CVA. Try to keep pusher CVA tied up and locked in a trunk when around your W. You have employees, push on them.

You mention "puppy dog CVA" not being around anymore. Keep that pooch locked up as well.

Man, you, Puddle, GD, damn, where's my PMA boost

BD