Still trying to win WAW back (#2)

[theforlornhope]

Ok Dave, I started and deleted a post last night, and one this morning. I did that because I came across as way too angry at your W, and that doesn't help you. (Except in a support sense, and in that sense, I am incensed! (play on words ))

Anyway, I cannot believe the nerve of your W to even suggest it.

I don't want to ramble about with this, bear with me buddy.

Your instincts are telling you that she is sniffing around him and he is sniffing around her. Judging from the totality of the circumstances in this case, YOU ARE RIGHT ON THE MONEY.

She sought out a MAN on Craigslist. For companionship. Calls and texts. It's gotten secretive. She dropped the IDLYA bomb.

If she's not in an emotional affair now, she's seeking one. If not him, someone down the road, but she's checking him out for it now.

I'm sorry if I come across rough, I don't want to, but this is not an old school friend, co-worker, army buddy, etc. This is the OM, or soon to be OM! I'm sorry again, but I wish someone had shaken me awake when it could have mattered in my sit.

This part is my opinion only, but for what it's worth,

An emotional affair is the same thing as an physical affair.

As far as sexual affairs go, an EA/continued PA is far worse than a drunken one night stand (PA)on a business trip.

This is because a short physical fling shows a lack of respect/love for the spouse. Bad, but not nuclear.

An emotional affair is a complete divorce of (pun INTENDED,) ones rightful love and commitment to the family, (not just the spouse, but the kids as well,) to whom it rightfully belongs.

I said "belongs," and I know that makes me sound controlling, but when there are children involved, IT BELONGS! You can't say "I love him now, not you," and divorce without also saying to your children "I don't love you enough."

Even without children, we swore an oath. Our allegiance, love, and commitment belong to that other person now. I have sworn 3 oaths to uphold and defend our constitution. I am still under them. My commitment in that respect belongs to this nation. Period. What would I be if I broke them?

There are paranoid/controlling/abusive people out there who continually accuse a normal spouse of a non-existent affair.

YOU"RE NOT ONE OF THEM. Just from the brief glimpse into your sit. afforded by your thread, that is obvious. Primarily because I have gone through the exact same things and know the roadsigns by heart.

I'm sorry to speak so strongly, (you should have seen the posts I deleted.)

I council "absolutely not" my friend.

If she has to see him on the holiday, I suggest you spending half of the day with her and the kids at your house, and then she goes to his place and spends the rest with him while you watch your children at the house.

She is expecting TOO MUCH. I haven't drawn any lines in the sand in my sit. yet, but I would draw this one.

I am so sorry you are going through this.

Your friend, TFH.