I am not a BTDT veterans, and to be honest, our sex has always been good.
I am very quantitative. So adjust as you wish. I would probably not initiate everytime. How was it before the A? I would try to get back to that routine. If you always initiate, then continue. If before he does the initiating, then don't pursue so much. But do keep it up, or give little hints. If he is not into it, drop it.
sometimes I would be flirting with him a bit, and he would respond. If it happens that he is really tired, or stressed, or whatever and don't take my hint, I just give him a little hug/kiss and sleep. I guess if he initiates, then no matter how you feel you have to "act as if", ha ha.
I think the key, as with every other aspect with H now, is to let him set the pace. You can push a little bit but back off if you sense any resistance. Now I initiate the kisses/hugs most of the time (H is not into initiating that part). But I feel no resistance (unfortunately, not much reaction much of the time), so to me that means he is OK with it. I also extend the hugs and kisses now to the kids more, mainly to show them that I love them. Both my H and I do not show much affections before to the kids. We love them but no ILY everyday and hugs everyday kind of stuff. Now I am doing more to let them know I do love them.
He may not feel the love for you now. But he will, slowly. Keep the faith in you, HB. You are doing great and I am sure you will succeed at the end.
