If you don't read anything else, please read this.

[Bworl]

I'd like to think that this board is for all of those who had a desire to do everything in THEIR power to save their marriage.

Note that is a personal THEIR.

What is in one persons power to do, may not be anothers power to do.

Attempts to make everyone behave the same, believe the same, and respond to the situations of life the same don't make much sense to me.

We ALL came here with a desire to save our marriage. Life throws us curves though. Some have found themselves divorced. Some have found that months and years of spousal infidelity was something they realized they could no longer endure or recover from. Do those people deserve to be excluded?

Once a sense of community is found, once we start getting to know each other, and start caring about each other, once we start feeling safe here, would you really ask us to leave because we didn't believe exactly like you?

I don't criticize those who stand. I admire them. I also don't criticize those who choose to move on. I admire them as well. Particularly on this MLC thread we read horrendous stories of mental and emotional abuse heaped on otherwise decent human beings under the all too forgiving umbrella of MLC. It's not a sign of personal weakness to reach a point where you say enough is enough. It's not unreasonable to one day say that too much damage has been done.

And by the same token, there is nothing at all wrong with the person who intends to stand forever. Nothing at all.

The message of this site I believe is that YOU CAN ONLY TAKE CARE OF YOU. Nothing (or at least very doggoned little) that we do makes much of a difference with these spouses who have gone off the deep end. We CAN however make a huge difference in our own lives, and maybe in the lives of our children for those of us who have them.

This site is supposed to be about support and peace.

Forcing others to mold themselves to your own personal beliefs, to do things the way you would do them, is not support.

I agree, we should not be encouraging people to brazenly and without though divorce. But I've not seen many (if any) do that on these forums. But if one of my friends has endured a year or two of abandonment and adultery and has decided that they are ready to move on, I can offer them my support and encouragement that they have made a hell of a lot more effort at saving their marriage than most people have.

I do my best to avoid threads that I know are traveling in a direction that I am not comfortable going. We all can do the same.

I think that's probably good enough.

Blessings,

Bill