2008 WILL be better, morgan - because I can see you'll make it that way.
(((morgan)))
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
I think we all cringe at the idea of the OW being a part of our children's lives. As if it is not enough that they have wedged themselves between us and our spouses, now we must also share our children?
S9 is from a previous R. His dad has had two serious girlfriends since we split. He is now married to the second. The first came after we had been separated for over a year. I was ok with it. He said, "I am dating someone." I met her, and life went on.
It is much different when that person comes in while we are still with our partner. I can not swallow the thought of OW with my kids for even one minute. Unfortunately, we can only hold back the inevitable for so long, when the A becomes the new primary R (as it has in my sitch).
((HUGS)) I am right there with you, Morgan.
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
It's kind of like going through labour when you have a baby. You never know how bad it is going to get. It hurts and you think well I can cope with this but will it get worse? And then just when you think you can't tolerate any more pain and you scream for the meds you get told it's too late for that and you have some more hard work to do, (pushing/Piecing or D'ing) and then at the end you get a lovely prize - your baby/ a more settled contented in control life.
Saffie As our good Queen would say - 2007 has been an annus horriblus - 2008 can only be better
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
saffie, I compare this all to childbirth often, too. In the back of my mind I keep hearing our childbirth instructor say that there is a finite number of contractions...you just don't know your number...how many you yourself have to endure in order to birth the baby. but it will end, it will not go on forever. and here are the tools to dealing with those contractions while you are dealing with them.
like childbirth, there is a beginning/middle/end. hopefully you have some good support around you. hopefully you read the books/took the classes/educated yourself so you can deal with all the peaks and valleys. but you are right, you don't know how painful it can be, or exactly when the final or the hardest peak are. you just have to remember to breathe.
of course, there is also what I went thru...going from dealing with contractions, to being rushed to the or for an unplanned section. and yeah, I suppose some marriage crisis/separations/divorce feel like that. where it is fast and furious and all you can do is pray the spinal holds and the morphine kicks in. and after, well, you have to force yourself out of bed, and to stand up straight, and to take those baby steps. as painful as it is, the only thing that will make you well again is to just do it. (cue nike commercial)
I think I just figured out which book I'm going to start with, btw. I think I'm going to start with Eat, Pray, Live. I think I need some hope from someone who has come out the other side. not hope for my marriage, but hope for myself.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
thanks, lwb. I got the one on my gmail. appreciate it. wish I could say I was feeling better...I'm not. I'm a mess. I don't know if I have the strength for any of this. i don't.
have started posting over on surviving the big d. no point in being here any more. just another db failure.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
It's just when they cut off the supply it gets bad again 
