You know, I've begun to make this post once before (even fully wrote it) about a month ago, but did not... I would never write this, LL, unless I thought you could deal with it, so onward and upward...
Now, you know my sitch, but I'll give you a little reminder to set the stage. So, on December 28, 2002, I find out my W had an EA/PA that lasted approximately 9 months. The night before she told me it was an EA, but the nagging thoughts wouldn't leave me, so I asked...and I asked...and I asked...calmly, but confidently. Her responses were reluctant, so I knew something happened. Eventually, she caved. I had begun to DB in October 2002, and was making decent progress. But, it wasn't until the event of her telling me about her PA in December that there was a true shift in our R. I soon realized (a couple weeks later) that she was talking frequently with OM all through those months (up to 12/28/02), but not seeing him. Her last "visit" was in September 2002.
My point here, and I'm just throwing this out there, but do you think that your H had a PA and he just can't get past it? I have to assume he is still communicating with her, you know, because she is a client. It seems rather unavoidable. I think that my W could not come around to me fully until she admitted her PA...I just don't think it would have happened...or if it did it would have taken a LONG time. I just wonder if your H had a PA and simply can't admit it because he thinks it will break your heart. I'm wondering if he's holding back (or coming around ever so slowly) because this is what happened. Is he holding guilt and can't release it? If so, then I suspect he thinks he can't release this guilt to you, and he can't in C because then he'd be exposed. If this is the case, OW shares this secret and OW is his client.
Personally, from what I've read on your posts, and IMHO, I don't think he's "with" her, as he does seem far more present. However, your H should NOT be keeping OW as a client. Shame on him. Who gives a rat's @ss about a few dollars here and there, and whether he'd lose a couple other clients? I can only imagine your frustration...
Please don't be angry with me. I hope "speaking" my thoughts in this instance was not inappropriate. What say you? Actually, I can almost "hear" your response...
