Quote: am I the evil bitch who wont let it go?? or am I the loving wife who's doing what she can to fix the damage with a h who is doing half the work???
LL, You are BOTH!!!! You are not an EB, but you can't let go, and probably shouldn't. Did you understand what I said about your childhood sweethart? Of course your H is still going to have feelings for OW!! I still have feelings for my girlfriend 37 years ago! But nothing compares to the feelings I have for my W or did have until now!
Of course the ALRT is not for you, and I'm not suggesting it to you! It was easy for me because I have a nice set up at my shop, and told my W to give me her keys and company credit card, and I also used a few of your words on her. I actually blew up Thursday night, and told her how bad she was hurting me, and I just couldn't take it any more. I told her the OG is a sinner with no respect for his family or any one elses. I told her he was a born again A$$hole, and he should be helping with her bills and I was tired of supporting her A.
You are in much better shape than you think, but that's the problem, you are doing too much thinking. His A is much worse in your mind than in real life. I suggested a few pages in DR to read, did you get a chance???? Also read "How to thought stop". Your thoughts are causing damage to you and your M. Pull out DR and read it instead of venting on this BB. Better yet, read it three times before coming back and venting.
This may not be very satisfying, but the OW is probably jealous of you, because H is spending every night with you! Relax, and let her be the one to give H all the pressure, and he will get tired of her! If he is getting pressure from both of you, he might go elsewhere!!!!!!!!!!
The time to worry though is when H brings home flowers for his own bedroom!!! PMA, patience, and read and reread DR! Good luck,
