Please don't read us the wrong way! (Pun intended)
Perhaps it is that the questions you were asking were more rhetorical in form, but they are very valid questions to ask, and were worthy of answering with another POV so that perhaps it would shed some light in a direction to take.
I'm sorry you feel beaten up or blamed, but speaking for myself, it was not my intent. Please try to see the words in the nature they were offered.
I'm also sorry I had to cut my post short yesterday.
... and don't beat yourself either, which I believe you are doing more than any of us here!
I can't read if you are trying to be sarcastic with the list of things you are sorry about, but you shouldn't feel sorry about these things at all. You should have pride in them.
I hope the both of get to go to C as well.
Let me share this song for you, it's been one of my favorite...
Kansas
Hold On
(Kerry Livgren)
Look in the mirror and tell me
Just what you see
What have the years of your life
Taught you to be
Innocence dyin' in so many ways
Things that you dream of are lost
Lost in the haze
(CHORUS)
Hold on, baby, hold on
'Cause it's closer than you think
And you're standing on the brink
Hold on, baby, hold on
'Cause there's something on the way
Your tomorrow's not the same as today
Don't you recall what you felt
When you weren't alone
Someone who stood by your side
A face you have known
Where do you run when it's too much to bear
Who do you turn to in need
When nobody's there
(CHORUS)
Outside your door He is waiting
Waiting for you
Sooner or later you know
He's got to get through
No hesitation and no holding back
Let it all go and you'll know
You're on the right track
Sorry you are have such a difficult time - you don't deserve this. You are a good person and a great mother - it shows through your posts and the advice that you give to others. Many of us here appreciate all the things you have pointed out to us - the cold splash of reality. I know that your perspective is blunt sometimes, but clear headed.
I hope that you will seek C for yourself - even if H does not attend. You need another outlet for your frustrations, someone who is objective and can suggest other alternatives. H is probably not ready for C - he may never be - male ego thing. But do not wait for H - go for yourself.
Quoting KAW: ... but you shouldn't feel sorry about these things at all. You should have pride in them.
Oops.. I just realized I need more clarification here...
Quoting lostlove: I'm sorry that I want to work on the m..
I'm sorry that I made the mistake of being a good w...
I'm sorry that I want more..
These were the statements I was refering to...they are not your mistakes and you should not be sorry for them.
The issues about what your H has done, it is not your place to apoligize for what he has done. The only thing you can do is choose, can you let it go or not?
You know, LL, it is not easy what we do...fighting and putting all of our energy into what we believe to be right and just. I am ever-inspired by the perseverence of those on the BB, including yourself. As our Ses are in pain, so are we...yet we choose to temporarily overlook that pain until the right time. Eventually, we do have to evaluate this pain and our life and decide what actions to take...and if we are getting what we want from our R...or if we expect to get what we want from our R.
I do believe when we get to the point where we are in Piecing that, over some time, we should expect our Ses to come around a bit...to give more to the R...and to "drive" for a while. Remaining sedate just isn't an option anymore because we've worked hard, know what it takes to make an R work, and expect the same in return.
Perhaps LL needs to take some time to herself, recharge and rethink? Sometimes when dealing with the day-to-day machinations of homelife--kids, H, meals, cleaning, schedules--it's hard to see the big picture. Maybe a spa weekend by yourself?
I was thinking of you this morning. Sweetie you did do everything right. Surely you did. I hope you continue to rant, rave and be a serial poster. Why? Because I learn from you. You are wise. You are hurting and your probably tired of all the hard work you have put into your r.
I want to punch xow too. I'm not sorry for how sorry she is. I'm glad Which isn't right either but oh well. Were only human LL all of us. Sure we could say how we wish we were in the same sitch as you. But that's too easy. You take care of yourself and babies. Your awesome.
Kip
Charcoal come rant at me!!!!
"Those who don't read, have no
advantage over those who can't"
Mark Twain
LL, Looking back over the last 30 years, I too have been miserable. Maybe this is best! I've let go and given up. This BB has been more depressing than helpful! I will wait 'till the D is final before using hookers!
Be strong, take care of yourself, take care of your children, take care of your husband, in that order! I only put you ahead of your children because you have to be the strong, best, confident, and caring person to take care of them. Do take care of your husband, but don't put him first, but do take care of him, make time for him, show him you care about him and yourself. If it doesn't work out, you are more prepared this time! Good luck, Tony
(Pun intended)
