Hi all, havn't posted in a while. W is has been all over the place the last few weeks, from being nice and chatty, to being completely miserable. Got to be the mood swings.
Lately though, the W has been leaving early for work, before I or my D get up, to go to daily mass at the local catholic church, and then leaves there for work.
She also has been leaving notes in the morning saying that she won't be home until late, or is going out to dinner.
Not a big deal, but i think that the guilt factor is really beginning to have an affect. I have to believe that the more she is at home, the more that everything that she is doing with the OM is coming home to roost. Just like me, when i am at work or hanging out with friends or my kids, it feels much better than coming home knowing she is there.
I have to tell you what happened on sat nov 3rd after my last post. We babysat the nephew of my D's boyfriend on friday nite, and i wound up sleeping on the couch in the living room. My son was home from college for the weekend, so his bed wasnt available, and the D's boyfriend was on the sofa bed downstairs.
So obviously i didn't sleep well at all, and when the W came down on sat morning, she looked at me and then got upset that she had told my D to sleep with her so i could have a bed to sleep in. Well i got nasty with her with something like "why in the hell do you care where i sleep"? I later apologized and told her i was just tired. W just said ok. I cant believe she wanted to blame my D for something she has brought on.
Later my W took my D's car to the corner store about 4 blocks away to buy juice for breakfast, and on the way back got T-boned at an intersection by someone who was talking on a cell phone.
W called everyone else before calling home about what happened and i spent an hour on the phone with the insurance company.
I know what the W was doing while going to the store. She uses this time to talk to the OM, and I am still pissed that b/c of this, she wrecked my D's car.
We got a rental from the others insurance, but my D cant drive it b/c she is not 21. My W refuses to drive it and i dont want my D to drive my car b/c it is pretty old and has lots of miles and is kind of quirky, so i am now driving the rental while we had to borrow my nephews car while he is away at school. My W is a PIA (pain in the ass). She causes all these problems, and doesnt seem to be bothered by them.
Dont get me wrong, it wasnt her fault for the accident, but if she wasnt longing for talk with OM, this might not have happened.
She has filed for D, hasnt talked about it at all, hasnt pushed me to do anything about it, and I keep thinking that she only did this because the OM was pushing her.
With her concerned about my sleep, I am still getting little hints like this that she still has some feelings.
Still continuing to DB and GAL, and am making plans with D and S to do things on the weekends after thanksgiving, and when they are home on holiday break.
W has now been hanging out with her mommy and daddy, as the are supporting her 100%. I am sure that she has told them all kinds of stories.
Since my D has been living at home and commuting to school, i have been trying to keep things on an even keel, and not to involve her. However over the last week since my W has been behaving strangely and leaving notes and not coming home, my D has noticed big time and asked me the other day what was wrong with mom. I just told her that she doesnt know what she wants, and must be struggling with her decision to D me. I left it at that, but i kind of planted a seed, and told her that the next time they go shopping, say something to her about how she is acting. Say she is worried about her, and that she might be depressed and needs to see the doctor. Dont know if it will help, but if the W sees the kids are noticing her behaviour, she may want to do something about it.
However, i know that someone who is truly in MLC will not notice that they are acting strange.
My S made the b-ball team at college and his first game is tonite and my W is taking my IL's and my D and I are driving seperately to the game.
Kinda pissed at the IL's for their 100% support, but i know that the W has been telling everyone that WE have been thinking about this for 2 years and waited until the kids were in college before WE divorce.
Still cant figure that one out. Again if she really wants this D, why is she afraid that people will find out? Dont they understand that eventually it will all come out?
My kids aren't stupid. They will know. If the W shows up after the D with the OM, she is going to crush their spirits.
I can only hope that this will continue to be a major problem for her and that she will see that what she is doing is going to destroy her, the family, and many of her friends.
She seems to now also want to test her independence by getting the oil changed in the car, to checking the air in the tires and so forth. This is all ok, as i have been trying to teach my D about all this stuff. It is good to know.
But you know what? I can cook, clean, fix a door lock, lay a floor, fix the roof, do laundry, fix the car, and a whole host of other things. Can my W do all of that? When the door lock broke the other week, i fixed it for $6, she would have had to call the locksmith and probably pay $50 bucks.
Sorry this is long, just have to journal my thoughts. If anyone out there is experiencing the same things, feel free to respond.
Patience my -ss.