It is understandable that you are sad. You will have those days but, You can not let what XH does or does not do effect your efforts at DBing. You need to find ways to fill your life for YOU and your children.

I suggest letting him have his space. Did you think also that he might be waiting to see if you will come running to him. Don't do it. Stand your ground and make it so he wants to come to you. Stay dark. Just be pleasant but don't be needy and pursuing.

Remember what DR book says in that one person can work on the R. One person can create change in the other without Trying to change them.
Trying to change someone does not work. But by changing you you can possibally create change in him.

JAK

You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez