Please don't read us the wrong way! (Pun intended)
Perhaps it is that the questions you were asking were more rhetorical in form, but they are very valid questions to ask, and were worthy of answering with another POV so that perhaps it would shed some light in a direction to take.
I'm sorry you feel beaten up or blamed, but speaking for myself, it was not my intent. Please try to see the words in the nature they were offered.
I'm also sorry I had to cut my post short yesterday.
... and don't beat yourself either, which I believe you are doing more than any of us here!
I can't read if you are trying to be sarcastic with the list of things you are sorry about, but you shouldn't feel sorry about these things at all. You should have pride in them.
I hope the both of get to go to C as well.
Let me share this song for you, it's been one of my favorite...
Kansas
Hold On
(Kerry Livgren)
Look in the mirror and tell me
Just what you see
What have the years of your life
Taught you to be
Innocence dyin' in so many ways
Things that you dream of are lost
Lost in the haze
(CHORUS)
Hold on, baby, hold on
'Cause it's closer than you think
And you're standing on the brink
Hold on, baby, hold on
'Cause there's something on the way
Your tomorrow's not the same as today
Don't you recall what you felt
When you weren't alone
Someone who stood by your side
A face you have known
Where do you run when it's too much to bear
Who do you turn to in need
When nobody's there
(CHORUS)
Outside your door He is waiting
Waiting for you
Sooner or later you know
He's got to get through
No hesitation and no holding back
Let it all go and you'll know
You're on the right track
(Pun intended)
