m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
good question. i do not know. i probably will get my wife something simple. normally we do not buy each other presents anyway.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
I'm going through the whole gift thing right now since my WAWs birthday is this Friday. I ended up getting her some things. Probably not as much as I would have otherwise. I also tried to be really thoughtful in the gifts that I did get her. As an example, she had a John Lennon tape that she loved when we first started dating that she completely wore out. She's looked on and off for a CD of it over the years and never found it. I managed to find it online and bought it for her. My hope is that she'll recognize the gifts significance because I don't plan on bringing it up. So, I guess my advise would be not to shower her in gifts (I tried this when she first walked and ended up making her feel guilty which pushed her farther.) and find something that she can hopefully see some meaning in. I think that you want to be thoughtful, but don't make her feel guilty by spending a lot if she doesn't get you anything.
Me: 29 W: 28 T: 10 M: 7 No kids 2 Dogs and 1 Cat With Parents: 09/16/07 Apartment: 10/13/07 Back Home: ~2/16/2008
Right now, I'd say just let Christmas be the more than a month away that it is... as you can already tell by the progression of your situation, lots can change rather quickly.
It seems a pretty reasonable bet that you won't be back to the "showering" her point, but other than that, 6 weeks away is a lifetime, and really not focusing on that will be much better for you.
Your efforts right now will be much better served focusing on you and what you can control!
Good point L2. It's in my nature to be a planner. I'm also the type who thrives at solving problems. It's what I do for a living and I'm pretty good at it.
It's a painful process for me to sit back and wait. I'm seriously focusing on what I need to do to be happy and that is such a completely new experience I keep finding myself wandering back to how to plan the future. I'm think my brain is going to explode.
One more random question for all of you: What do I do about Christmas? In the past I "showered" her with gifts. What do I do now?
Difficult question - At least as far as I'm concerned, we're just doing it as normal. W has already set some lofty standards for gifts (She told me she wanted to get me an Xbox), but we'll see. This is the first year in a while we've had extra cash individually to spend on gifts, so I want to make the most of it. Of course, D is going to want some toys too, so I need to budget around that.
I'm going to for useful things that she will appreciate, rather than anything too 'lovey'.
Good point L2. It's in my nature to be a planner. I'm also the type who thrives at solving problems. It's what I do for a living and I'm pretty good at it.
If you try to buy something now, no doubt in a few weeks it'll be the wrong thing Just plan a couple of things depending upon how things are, then buy it a week or two out.
Just plan a couple of things depending upon how things are, then buy it a week or two out.