Ok, ok, my daughter is downloading this Rascal Flats song as we speak. I have recently purchased a couple of Faith Hill cd's ... she really can make me cry I am thinking that a 180 is in order ... and me liking country music would definitely be a 180!!!
Not-so-nutty, I know what you mean about country music. Up until a couple of years ago, I was like "Me, like country music? No way!". I still do not care for the "twangy" type (hopefully I am not offending anyone) but there are so many good songs with great meaning and can really express genuine feelings. Enjoy Rascal Flatts, there are few songs they have made that I don't like.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
Lissie ... when did you know that you were not going to stand anymore? Obviously I am starting question my endurance, sanity and actually my self-respect. That is why I finally stopped lurking and put myself out before all of you. I am starting to feel foolish. Have I rested my hope on "signs" that deep down I think my xh still deep down loves me? Or is it just wishful thinking?
Lissie ... when did you know that you were not going to stand anymore? Obviously I am starting to question my endurance, sanity and actually my self-respect. That is why I finally stopped lurking and put myself out before all of you. I am starting to feel foolish. Have I rested my hope on "signs" that deep down I think my xh still deep down loves me? Or is it just wishful thinking?
Nutcase, I don't think you are crazy. If it is MLC, and it certainly sounds like that, then it can easily take a long time to work through. Many couples do get back together, and I think more would if ONE of the parties continued to believe in their marriage. Others are 'done' after divorce, and I totally understand and respect that as well. Some of my favourite posters here [as people and for what they write] are in that group.
So why not? It is in God's hands. There is no compulsion to be in a relationship, and I am enjoying my time alone. I didn't at first. I was bereft.
You sound very composed to me, and a lot saner than many of us here!!
NSN, you are not crazy for standing or having hope. What is crazy is what is happening in this world where the standers are nutty and the ones who walk away are treated as "sane". If you believe in marriage and obeying your vows, you are a "doormat" to many.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
Angelica and MMF, Thanks for the support. I am really needing it.
Off and on during this journey I have had short periods when I have gone dark (for my own sanity). However, when I went dark ... the xh did everything in his power to break the darkness... and I bit every time. If I were able to go back in time I would not have been sucked in so easily. I saw the pursuit as a sign of him "wanting" me. And that may be the case, but my giving in so easily has allowed him to continue to have it both ways. My mistake was that he was never really had to see the pain he has caused and the lonliness of not being with his family. I now believe he needed to see that ... maybe in mlc he could not have. I don't know ...
It does feel like however, that he has never had to "pay the piper" for what he put his children and his wife through.
BND, Do I want him punished ... no. Am I looking for an apology? That would be nice, but I don't expect. My situation was very public. My children walked in to school every day and were harrassed with the rumors of this relationship with another student. We have to walk back into his place of employment and face the humiliation all the time. Yet despite all of this I have treated him respectfully, given him his space in hopes of him being able to work his way through this mlc. Despite the fact that legally he has no ties to me ... he continues to lie and deceive but then yo-yo's back to being pleasant and the old h.
To this day I still deal with him publicly treating me as though he doesn't communicate with me. My daughter is very involved athletically, so we are often at her events. He makes sure he keeps his distance, but before I am in the car to go home, he is on the phone talking to me about the game for 20 or 30 minutes or more.
I guess what I am saying is that despite decisions HE has made, (i.e., giving me full custody with out even trying for shared custody) he has never had to come to terms wth those decisions. He has always had the opportunity to be involved because I have allowed it and encouraged it.
I am thinking that a 180 is in order ... and me liking country music would definitely be a 180!!!
!!!!!