Well if you want to push him away giving him ultimatums will do it....
I will tell you straight up right now then when you get him home...or even starting home...the real work begins...you need to bite your tongue...you need to keep things settled as much as you can until H starts feeling like he is home and then slowly...and I do mean slowly you start addressing the issues...
I know at times when we were first working on getting back together and for a while after I questioned my decisions...wondered if I was crazy...wanted to kick him out...but I didn't...I had to keep going toward the goal...
I know this is hard...but you need to back off and give him breathing room...both at your place and if he is at his...
My H didn't really attempt to work on M with me until he had been home for about 6-9 months...so don't expect much initially...this way you won't be disappointed...
