Thank you for responding so quickly. I'm just scared and its crazy. OW has shown her true colors. I need to relax and enjoy my life My heart knows he loves me, my head is full of idiotic negative notions.
Kip
"Those who don't read, have no
advantage over those who can't"
Mark Twain
LL - I love the story about your H throwing the phone out the window!!
Just as my H was starting to come around (about a week before he told me ILY) he was driving home from the airport and checking his voicemail messages and there was one from the OW. He called and left her a message not to call him, then took the battery out of his phone so he could be sure she didn't call him back! (I don't think his phone has worked quite right since! )
We still had some things to go through but this was really the moment things started to turn around - when he realized he resented her intruding on the new life he was building with me. So be happy about it LL - be very happy. And I love the way he told/showed you. I can see why you like this guy!
LL, I'm the wrong guy to be giving you advice, and I've got so much to tell you about my sit, but I see that you are still in pain, so I'll wait until I get home. I'm going to wait another day (against my feelings) but S told me W came home Sunday night, so I just want her to see my empty be one more day. (I'm still wondering if I should have left the "get the hell out of my house" letter) The last time I saw her was Wednesday night while I was hugging her, but then she couldn't wait to go be with OG!
LL, you and H are really making progress, we see it, but you seem to be blind to it. You keep reminding me about all the small positive things in my sit, but throwing the phone away was a HUGE step in the right direction. H was showing you that it is really over with OW. Your H is home, many on this BB would love to be where you are right now!
Try to accept his positive ACTIONS! "Is He ACTING?" Maybe, but give it the benefit of the doubt! Take care of yourself, and start working out more, and lay off the cookies! Try not to let H see your emotions. Act "As If", be upbeat, dress nice, comb your hair, keep doing all that DB crap, and remember; patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patience,patie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I had to make a comment about your little duel with PMA2K.
ROFLMAO! and BRAVO!
I notice he hasn't come here to take you on again!
I haven't posted to you often but I always check your posts here and on other threads. They pull no punches and don't hide flaws in goals and plans. That's the kind of real advice that many people need here.
Thanks for pulling us out of the river of De Nile, off the muddy shores and onto the dry land of reality.
btw - didn't you people ever hear of killing them with kindness? I buddied up to pOM and used him for the biased shoulder and so on - even had him over to dinner. He now has distanced himself from W - his choice. And if he comes back, I'll give him another dose. Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.
ok something is wrong with the last pg of my thread..it's all streched out and I can't reply fromt there so hoping this works.
I want you all to know that I AM celebrating the fact that h threw the phone out the window...I'm just not throwing a party over it.
things have been going very well...I understand that the fears I have are "normal" and that as time goes by they will diminish...
here's a bit you may want to give me kudos for (not that I'm looking the smile I got from h was kudos enough)
as I've said...h is a landscaper...we have a large yard that is unfinnished (new home) so I've talked about taking down some more trees in front to give a better view of the house on approach...yesterday as h was chopping wood much to my surprise some trees started falling down...then h proceeded to suit up with spiked shoes, saftey glasses, a hard hat and a rope and climbed the big tree to cut off the limbs before dropping it...I snapped a couple pictures of him while he was straddling the tree.
later in the evening I commented on my surprise to see the first tree comming down and how cool it was to see him climbing the second..h thought no big deal...I said no way..I was looking at you thinking yup! that's my man!! h smiled and kissed my nose.
h never thought I appreciated all the work he did around the house or rather as he put it I never let him do it or complained about it...well that was because I never got a free moment for myself couldn't even have 5 min to take a shower...I had to tend to son while h tended to whatever he "needed" to do...I had and have things to do in the house that I couldn't get too cause I had to mind son.
I was always proud of the way our yard looked and I did compliment him on it too...but as we all know...h doesn't take compliments well.
I had to make a comment about your little duel with PMA2K.
ROFLMAO! and BRAVO!
I notice he hasn't come here to take you on again!
I haven't posted to you often but I always check your posts here and on other threads. They pull no punches and don't hide flaws in goals and plans. That's the kind of real advice that many people need here.
Thanks for pulling us out of the river of De Nile, off the muddy shores and onto the dry land of reality.
btw - didn't you people ever hear of killing them with kindness? I buddied up to pOM and used him for the biased shoulder and so on - even had him over to dinner. He now has distanced himself from W - his choice. And if he comes back, I'll give him another dose. Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.
Greg - Patient, vigilant, hopeful
hey greg,
I wondered if anyone was paying attention to that fun little interaction I was having with pma2000, he's a real winner but I doubt we'll be hearing from him any time soon...I did actually make a note to the moderators about him and his ways.
I applaud you for having the strength to befriend Pom, I spoke to ow often just to gather info that my h would not give me...she was so easy to get talking it was often funny, I would find myself saying ok I don't feel like listening to you anymore...she would tell me I could call anytime I wanted too...
honestly the only times I was less than civil to her was well let's just say when there were a few empty bottles lying on the floor and I couldn't help but let her know what I really thought of her.
I'm glad you appreciate my posts even if some think me to be a "serial poster"
my thread is still screwed up on the last page...but at least I can now reply to it...
anyway...seems a change in the air...not a total distance but a distance non the less...is it me? is it him??
sat night I went out with some boston dbr's sun night I read...and then h came to see how it was going..I had started to get a little creeped out so was glad to have him disturb me... last night h arrived home to the kaos of kids...son in whine mode... after putting dd to bed I got on the glider while h watched cnn and son played a silly game... after son went to bed I read and h watched cnn..and fell asleep on the couch...I woke him when I was done but he didn't manage to get up stairs till well after I fell asleep.
I know these things mean nothing but I sensed a distance...h may just have been tired...may have been frustrated by the way son was acting...may have called ow on his way home using 411 as the medium on his cell phone so no actual # called would show...
I don't know but for now I will do my best to act as if all is well.
perhaps it is my being busy doing my own thing (reading) that is causing the problem...perhaps the problem is mine alone..
at times I feel like I am standing in a field that is surrounded by a huge dark pit...what is in that pit I do not know..is it a good pit? is it a bad and dark pit?? I am free to run about the field, danicing, singing, letting my bare feet feel the grass basking in the warmth of the sun...but when I stray near the borders of this field I am faced with the pit....
do I build a bridge?? what tools do I need to build it and do I have the skill needed to manipulate them??
do I leap over and face the possibility of not being able to return to the saftey of the field??
is the field even safe?
I lay at the edge of the field looking down into the pit...I can't see what lies beneath it's dark shield...is it a better place than the field??
how can I see into the pit?? can I get a rope and tie it to something to hoist myself down for a better view? no it is just a field and there is nothing to tie it to..h is in the field too but I do not know if he notices the pit or the land on the other side of it...I do not know if he wishes to stay in the field and ignore the pit...so I can't ask him to hold the rope...I could offer to hold the rope while he checks it out...but fear that he would not see the pit or simply see it as something to overlook and get back to the center of the field to pretend the pit isn't there.
)
