I'm not saying give up, I'm just saying that your well being seems to be blocked by the thought of you getting back together.
Look at it this way.. it's a good to want that, but you have to be friends first right? How long will it take to become friends again? Beyond that is where the possibility of anything more lies. You need to be OK with that, because that is the cold hard truth.
Something that has kept me in check (albeit not as much as I'd like!!) is to think of what she has done to me.
This has changed my perspective.. maybe I don't want her back. I know I don't want the person she is now. Helps me look at her and say "she's still the alien.. don't want that"
Another thing... if you have time and need something to do, read up on other folks situations. You will be absolutely amazed at how many people are in the exact same boat you are. You could probably learn a ton just by interacting with them. I'm sure you could teach them as well.
Keep it up man.. you're doing good for what you've been through!!
THanks jar. I never want to give up. Yes I want her as a friend even if that is all that will ever come of us. At times it does seem to block my well being. Yes we must become friends first and I dont know how long it will take but I can wait forever if she just wants to be my friend..but I will not wait forever to be her boyfriend or even husband (if that will ever come about) but maybe I cant think about that now. I think about what she did to me all the time..it makes me angry and sad. You're right I would not want her back right now, esp. if she is going to keep acting like she is. If I were to take her back their would need to be alot of changes, for me also. Maybe I need to look at her that way, i dont like the person she is right now. But if she is who she really is then i just have to accept that, then maybe I need to ask myself if i really want her as a friend.
