Calling All Cats :)

[LoginName]

CAT, I'm just going to thow a little bit in here. Yes, we need a place to whine. Do it. Let it out. If you don't feel that you can be totally evil here, write down your worst, most unfair, uncencored thoughts. It helps to get it out.

Peaceful_spirit is right, we've been there. I think you have too, probably more times than you'd care to remember. And you can make it.

But like PS did, let it out, especially at C, if you need to.

My half educated advice, detach. Don't try to be close or have a good time with him. He's a roommate, and not a very interesting one. Give him lots of space, take care of yourself and make yourself happy (without breaking your wedding vows). Really GAL your tail off, even if it means sitting alone and reading a book or watching a trashy TV show, whatever you want to do. Detach, detach detach.

Then you have the balancing act of detaching and still keeping a spark of attraction for him, but you can do it.

Your kids need to see you happy. It's good for them to see you healthy and happy. I bet they know dad is hurting.

He has to work this out himself. Don't force him to see the C. I really like what I've heard of CBT. My MC would drive me crazy because he'd back off and not push my W to talk or admit or do anything. She still felt attacked. The MC's backing off, I think my detaching, helped.

One last word of advice, that I know isn't needed (but it was to me in your situation) be REALLY CAREful with the online guy. You know I had a 'date' that ended with kissing. Looking back, if the girl would have wanted to take advantage of me, I don't think I could have said no. Best to avoid the tempation. I'm not saying don't chat, just really be careful. :o)

We are rooting for you, and are here for you. You've been there for me. It's not over, and you're not done yet. If you ever are, you'll know for sure. We'll still support you then too.