saffie, h left the twins on the day of their second birthday (before I knew about the affair) because the guy from ireland was coming into boston a day early that he had to meet with. I found out later (during my snooping days) that this was not a day he had at the hotel. the guy did not come into town early, instead, h spent it with ow. so yep, I understand that. and it is just gross.
gag.
I'm going to have to deal with it. with whatever they do. I'm starting to feel like I am holding my h hostage in a marriage he doesn't want, and that, well, just sucks. to mix a couple of metaphors, I need to gird my loins and cut bait I guess. I mean, why keep him trapped when he so very obviously doesn't want to be? maybe the closure will be enough for me, maybe it will help me move on.
although again I guess I come back to the fact that I am not hindering him from divorcing me. I've nixed mediation unless he comes up with a proposal in writing ahead of time, but he can file on me at any time. but still, for my own sake, maybe I should just let him go. maybe its not healthy for me to keep a man who is trapped.
just pondering.
on a fun note, S5 lost his 2nd tooth today. can't find it anywhere, but I'm the only one concerned with that fact. s5 is quite content to write a note to the toothfairy.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
