Quote: the rest of the night was peacefull...a certain comfort...all because of a phone? or because h thought enough to make a display of it as if symbolizing ow being thrown away? was that just my interpertation or what h intended?
LL, he understood fully what this meant to you...or does he make a habit of tossing expensive objects out the window of a moving vehicle? Take it as it is, a huge symbolic dumping of ow all over the highway and smashing her into pieces, to be run over by lots of trucks and cars, then forgotten! (ooo, that was too much fun - how evil of me!) Congrats, LL!
Good day LL, Sometimes I do have trouble keeping up with your thread, but I finally got caught up again. Quite an eventful past couple of days.
Sharing about your parents put into perspective why you are having a hard time dealing with putting your demons behind you, but you mustn't let your parents demons haunt you. Its not fair to put your H in your father's footsteps.
Hours before you long for your H to start showing some gesture that he wants to be with you and not OW, to talk to you, open up and just last night he took one the first steps. Like you said LL ... baby steps ... but what is important here is he is doing it on his own. He took action to cancel the service, instead of just telling, he chose to take action to show LL he wants to do what he thinks will make LL feel good - throw the phone out the window. He is starting to do some of the you wish for. He is trying to learn your language. He is doing this because he chose to ... he wants to be happily married to you.
I understand it doesn't seem to work for you to keep your thoughts pent up and not be able to share with H. Since he told some of the reasons why he doesn't like such talks, perhaps if you did some 180's in the way you converse so that he won't see the conversation taking the same pattern as they have in the past. Instead of him feeling you're trying to get in his head or be to analytical or too deep. Start with "I would like to take 5 to 10 minutes to tell some of how I feel. You don't have to say anything, answer anything. I don't expect you to change anything, I just think it would help me alot for if I could talk about it." Try to keep it to one line of thought. It might be good to start with some of the parallels you fear your M has taken comparted to your parents ... or perhaps better yet, talk about how you felt about your parent's M first, then your concerns about some of the parallels. Afterwards, kindly thank him for listening. Let him know it means a lot to you to let these thoughts out. By keeping it short to 5-10 minutes, you are not apt to get too deep for him. By keeping to "I" statements, then he will see you are not trying to get into his head. If it seems to work, try to keep the talks at regular times like once or twice a week, but continue to keep them short. In time maybe, he will start to volunteer some of his thoughts or even be the first to start talking...
shiny, I hate that advice too... if I eat big in the am....I am more apt to eat more during the day...
I've decided to hell with it...I am not in such severe need to loose weight (and most would think I'm crazy for even wanting to loose any) so back to baking cookies for my family and onto getting on the glider after dd goes to bed!
Actually, it's a good thing I'm not much of a sweets junky, it's the salt and crunch that get me every time!
Shiny
P.S. I think I just may boycott the scale for the next few weeks and turn 40 without really knowing...that would be a HUGE 180 for me. Now I wouldn't risk chomping my way UP to 180 if I did that, would I???
Hi your H threw out the phone! That is so very great. I hope things continue to go well for you & your h. I've had some ow news on my thread and would appreciate your advice. I'm in hopefulness. Thanks Kip
"Those who don't read, have no
advantage over those who can't"
Mark Twain
Take it as it is, a huge symbolic dumping of ow all over the highway and smashing her into pieces, to be run over by lots of trucks and cars, then forgotten! (ooo, that was too much fun - how evil of me!) Congrats, LL!
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