Jak, I read an email rant that my W sent to me yesterday afternoon. I think her concern is that she wants to make sure I contribute my share to household chores, to her standards, so that we don't have to hire a housecleaner. If a housecleaner is needed, she wants me to obtain a higher paying job, or a PT job to fund it.
The odd things is that I did meet her expectations in regards to time spent on household chores last week, which she praised. Has she forgotten already? Maybe it's a trust issue, in that she doesn't think I'm willing to contribute my fair share. Perhaps consistency will help.
I'm reluctant to obtain a PT job, as I'm already helping her with her cooking job on Sunday. Buying food and assisting took 6-8 hours. I think a reasonable limit is that I have one full day without job responsibilities. I consider assisting her a job responsibility. I also don't want to work a full day and a PT job at night. I think it's important to maintain a balance of work and recreation.
I do think it's reasonable to expect me to help with the household chores, and I will follow what's on the list she prepared. I think I'll ignore her request to obtain a PT job for now.
I ordered a book from the library titled, "The Coward's Guide to Conflict: Empowering Solutions for Those Who Would Rather Run than Fight" by Timothy Ursiny. I think improving assertiveness skills is what's going to be needed to manage my W's tantrums.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
