Help me thru this sitch

[Pudmuddle]

LOL, thanks for saying hi lizzy!

Yes, it was good, and that will keep me going through the tough times. I have also gotten my nails done, for me mostly a feel good, but also becuz I know my H loves nicely done nails - another good visual for a guy! Go do it!

My H has been making a lot more small talk, in the morning, I am never a morning person, so it has been a real 180 for me to even speak in the morning, LOL :). But he has been saying 'G'morning' and 'did you sleep well last night?' He is still not bringing me my coffee like he used to, but I think he was doing that before out of guilt. I think he is testing the waters to see how i react in the morning since he knows that is one of my touchy times. I am being Mz Cool Cucumber tho

[Pudmuddle]

I was just curious about something. I've noticed that my H has been kind of 'mimicking' my behaviors lately. I feel like I either have a parrot or a toddler hanging around me. LOL

He seems to be being sweet as pie showing respect to me, and making sure he does not say things 'accusingly' as he puts it, and also a couple of times I have been singing to myself (in hopes of boosting my spirits when around him) and now he is singing to himself...what the heck? Is this a good sign? Actually I find it kind of amusing as he doesn't really seem to have thoughts of his own lately...it seems he has been listening to someone(not me) and then repeats information. It also seems now he is doing the same thing with me...

Has anyone experienced this? Is it that his thoughts are so jumbled and confused that he doesn't know how to have his own thoughts right now? Oh and the more and more I read on midlife crisis I KNOW this is what he is experiencing and what I experienced 4 years ago...it all makes sense now.

[houndfan]

I am not sure if I have experienced that per se, but my w is also changing behavior quickly. One minute she is bitter, angry and resentful and viola the next she is sweet and caring. One thing that has not changed is her approach to me and her feelings about me. Also the feelings for OM seem to be getting stronger... UGH.

Sorry you're here.

[Puddle]

Hey pm,

You're sounding great! Good for you, girl. I loved the candy corn comment. Sounds like you're a natural at this stuff.

Don't know what to say about mimicking. I haven't had this experience in my sitch; in fact it's been the opposite. H is down in the dumps most of the time, just comes up for air once in a while to apologize before diving back down. I'm fairly cheery in general---always have been---but have been toning it down a bit because he's so pathetic these days; feels like I'm rubbing it in.

Have you read the MLC stuff on here? Lots of good info. The one thing I remember is it says get ready for the long haul.

You're seeing tons of positives, and it sounds like you're doing a great job staying positive yourself (love the morning prayers). You've made quite a turnaround yourself really quickly. Congrats!

Take care.

[Pudmuddle]

Thanks houndfan. I haven't seen so much of the bitter parts of him lately, so I am HOPING this is a good thing! But he was doing the same thing, the seesaw of emotions thing.

Eventually the way I look at the OPs, is they will come back to reality soon, the 'in love' feeling won't be there someday and eventually reality sets in and something they do bothers the other...It will happen, that is what I count on daily!!! LOL, mean I know, but it makes me feel better about the so-called 'relationship' they seem to have. As I've said before, romps in hay do not equal a R. Good luck houndfan and thanks for stopping by.

[Pudmuddle]

Hi Puddle!

I am a natch at flirting . But it could be my insecurities too coming out, so I have read. But I do like to kid with people too, alot.

Yes, I have been absorbing MLC stuff like a sponge because it fits to a tee, most of it. I did read about the long haul part and that got me a bit down, but then I remembered this has already been happening for a few years so just MAYBE we are on the downside...time will tell.

I am feeling good about what's happening, maybe it's because I want to feel good and haven't for so long, I am now getting addicted to feeling good, lol. But I also feel great because I know I can survive w/o my H if he chooses another path. I always thought I could, just didn't know I would actually have to face it. Knowing it and facing it are two different animals.

I will let you know what happens with my H's unusual behavior right now...because if I try to overanalyze again, it will make me crazeh.

So for now, I go with the flow and see what happens.

[Pudmuddle]

Hi Puddle!

I am a natch at flirting . But it could be my insecurities too coming out, so I have read. But I do like to kid with people too, alot.

Yes, I have been absorbing MLC stuff like a sponge because it fits to a tee, most of it. I did read about the long haul part and that got me a bit down, but then I remembered this has already been happening for a few years so just MAYBE we are on the downside...time will tell.

I am feeling good about what's happening, maybe it's because I want to feel good and haven't for so long, I am now getting addicted to feeling good, lol. But I also feel great because I know I can survive w/o my H if he chooses another path. I always thought I could, just didn't know I would actually have to face it. Knowing it and facing it are two different animals.

I will let you know what happens with my H's unusual behavior right now...because if I try to overanalyze again, it will make me crazeh.

So for now, I go with the flow and see what happens.

I am feeling good about what's happening, maybe it's because I want to feel good and haven't for so long, I am now getting addicted to feeling good, lol. But I also feel great because I know I can survive w/o my H if he chooses another path. I always thought I could, just didn't know I would actually have to face it. Knowing it and facing it are two different animals.

Everything changes when you can put a name and a face to what is going on - You can say "He's going through MLC", rather than "My H is crazy... I've NO IDEA what is going on". Lots changed with both myself and my W when she was diagnosed with depression and started on medication.

You sound way more positive recently - Don't over think the reason, just enjoy it and realize that it's yourself that is brining you happiness.

[Pudmuddle]

Everything changes when you can put a name and a face to what is going on - You can say "He's going through MLC", rather than "My H is crazy... I've NO IDEA what is going on". Lots changed with both myself and my W when she was diagnosed with depression and started on medication.

Yes, it does help to put names on things, I don't know why, maybe being able to figure something out. Especially because I really don't think he is crazy, just going through a tough time and needing support.

You sound way more positive recently - Don't over think the reason, just enjoy it and realize that it's yourself that is brining you happiness.

Funny, I just had someone in another thread tell me I was trying to put too positive of a spin on someone's situation. That seeing someone's W anger coming out was their own guilt and dealing with their own feelings...??? Is that not right? I am trying my hardest to see the negative things as more positive and trying to be more empathetic to their anger and feelings. Oh well, I guess everyone has their own opinions.

I'm glad I sound more positive though, because I really have not felt good about myself for years, and now I love me again.

You are so right Brit, I overthink everything and always have, but I am trying to stop thinking so much. It just hurts to not figure things out for me. part impatience/not wanting to deal with bad things/and overthinking

[Pudmuddle]

Well, poop. My H sent an email this morn, saying he was taking our S to a friend's house this Sat for dinner. A male friend not his OW. Shoot, that makes me feel left out. But this is one of his best friends from high school...Sigh.

A small thing, but just feels like a kick in the teeth.