Still trying to win WAW back (#2)

[DaveJ]

The conversation went a lot more last night. I'm still trying to sort everything out. It's one of those conversation you come out of and thinking what the heck just happened and completely not sure where the other person is. And I think I talked quite a bit. I guess it's a miracle that she listened and didn't blow up at any point. Definitely had the not interested body language in the beginning but that went away as we went on. I just felt like I'm really trying to work on getting alone and she seems not really care at times even though a little while back she said she was going to reign in her anger for the kids if nothing else.

There were definitely some alien speak. It went from lets work on being good friends a while back to I never said anything like that and I never said we should be good friends, I just want to be friendly with you because of the kids. Also the there's no reason we should have to do anything together outside of the kids and etc etc etc. I so hate it when they go back on things they say and pretend they never said them.

I finally got the "I'm not going to let you hurt me like that ever again". So now it's more clearer to me why she refuses to let her resentment go. I think she's scared to death of letting her security blanket (resentment) go. I think my continous showing love through service, her PLL, is getting to her a bit perhaps?

So I told her that I love her unconditionally. I don't expect anything from her. I will do what I feel is right to me. She can either accept that love or reject it, it won't stop me. I think that got to her a bit and she started crying. She's upset due to the fact that she feels it's not fair that I started being this way now when she wishes I was that way a long time ago. Well, I guess people grow up and the timing just wasn't right for me back then. I gave her a hug. She said she wants to just push me away and scream at me. She didn't even though I told her it's okay to just let it out.

So I'm really not sure where she is right now. Hopefully everything I said made her think a little bit. I also hope that Retro this weekend will open her up more. I'll just keep doing what I've been doing despite the alien. :P