Quoting lostlove: what is the difference between living in fear and living with your eyes open?
I understand that sometimes our eyes see things that we then place meaning based upon our fears.
You pretty much answered your own question. Living with your eyes open, is to be more aware of what is happening around you. What you see is still open to interpretation. If you allow the fear you have to slant how you interpret what you see, then the fear prepetuates itself and becomes ever present...like your reaction to H eating cookies while you sleep. It doesn't just happen sometimes... we all do this at one time or another. There is NOTHING wrong with you. He!!, what I posted in my thread just a couple weeks ago is the same thing!
What your mind does is pure unconfirmed speculation. We base our POV on how we speculate on what has occured in recent history. At this time your fear is controling the slant. History is changing but the change is just too recent and not enough time has lapsed yet. So when you start to interpret what you see, dismiss it for now know it will be bias until you can confirm with evidence what you speculate. (Sorta like innocent until proven guilty.) Focus only on the now. Now is all you have. Now is good. Accept it ... live it ... enjoy it ... appreciate it.
To add to what Bob posted (which was excellent), your H has made the choice to love you and he is showing you his decision evertime he gives you what you have asked for. Don't let fear taint that! Everytime he does good, it is because he has choosen to love you.
Yes, for now he is acting "as-if" just like you, but remember acting "as-if" over time become part of you nature and when that happens it is no longer acting ... its real.
