last week after a ridiculous fight with h based on my own insecurities..I went for a ride and when I came back I had a story to tell h.. and remind myself of as well..
over the summer during separation...one sunday before h was getting here for his visit (he was late...the kids and I had been away..the lawn wasn't cut...I didn't want to face him) I left the kids with mil and went off to the store for milk and to chill a bit so that I wouldn't be tempted to push h down when he did arive..
while I was sitting at the tables out front I met a nice older couple...the woman had on a self made t-shirt said...student rider...on the back of it...
she told me a story of how 5 years ago she had gotten into a bad motorcycle accident...bruised every part of her body (luckily nothing broken) and had stopped riding...while she was helping her granchildren learn to ride their bikes they of course kept falling...and she told them they couldn't quit they had to brush off that knee and give it another go. she felt like a hypocrite letting her fear keep her from getting back on her own bike (motorcycle) so she's back out at it again..thus the "student rider" shirt...to let others know she's learning again.
I let h know that I am afraid...afraid to be bruised again..but that I cannot let that fear keep me from being open to trusting and love.
