First, my wife tells me she wants me to be happy too. And I believe her. The thing is, she wants me to be happy without her. Plain and simple.
As for your family, its too bad they can't make it out. Can you meet half way? Do you have any idea why their not trying to make an effort?
Family isn't the only support group available. Spend time with friends or take time to make new friends. Easier said than done in some situations but see what you can do.
As for when to give up... That is completely up to you. DB'ing says you can fight it all the way to the D and even beyond. However, it all depends on what's inside of you (not a measurement of strength, a measurement of what you're willing to go through to TRY to save your marriage).
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Me: 39/W: 37 D13-D11-S8 M/T 14/20
EA confirmed: 9/13/07 D-Bomb: 9/19/07 OM Gone since 12/18/07 W wants to fix marriage: 3/16/07
Sometimes the best thing to do is NOTHING. Just go about your business and take care of yourself and forget about the rest. Give it a few days of that.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
First, my wife tells me she wants me to be happy too. And I believe her. The thing is, she wants me to be happy without her. Plain and simple.
As for your family, its too bad they can't make it out. Can you meet half way? Do you have any idea why their not trying to make an effort?
Family isn't the only support group available. Spend time with friends or take time to make new friends. Easier said than done in some situations but see what you can do.
As for when to give up... That is completely up to you. DB'ing says you can fight it all the way to the D and even beyond. However, it all depends on what's inside of you (not a measurement of strength, a measurement of what you're willing to go through to TRY to save your marriage).
Well from what I can recall, my W never told me to be happy. She just kept saying that she needs to make herself happy again.
My family has never really been supportive even when I was young; I mean their idea of support is calling to see how I am doing and if I say not good they say things will get better. There are several times where family has came to visit but I can count them on one hand. Same for my friends as well.
I mean I do not want to give up but I feel like I would be whenever I have to sign the D papers. I mean I do not know how I can keep DBing when we are no longer married, but I guess that I just need to take care of me, keep working on changing the parts of me that I do not like. I am just praying that my W will see them but I highly doubt it since she is never around. I am willing to try and save my marriage but I am going at it alone and it is very difficult.
Originally Posted By: sgctxok
Sometimes the best thing to do is NOTHING. Just go about your business and take care of yourself and forget about the rest. Give it a few days of that.
Do nothing about what? I have been trying to go dark, I do not call, text, or email her anymore, in fact I haven’t in a while. I mean I do forward her jokes that I get via email, maybe I should stop that. I have been focusing on myself a lot lately, I started working out again.
A new day.. I am doing alot better, I think I am coming to realize that the D is coming and I just need to accept it and try to get on with my life. She called me this morning and I didnt answer, she left a VM saying that she used the joint acct and she will put money back in what she used. Asked me when I will be gettiny my new check card for my acct. I didnt call her back, I just sent her a text and then we started talking for a little while. She asked if I found someone to go to denver yet, I said that I may have found someone but he has to check to see if he can go. I told her that I would let her know. She said okay and that she may not get the time off to go if my friend can not. I told that is okay, I will just go by myself...she said just let her know. I said okay.
well I was doing good. I found out that she had the day off and went to the appartment while I was at work. She said that she took most of her things that she needed or left behind. I am at work so I can not get home to see if she took anything else. She said that she went to get the D papers and that she is getting a lawyer to help her file them correctly. I said that should get a lawyer just in case, she said that I didnt need to. All I have to do is sign the papers. I asked several questions, like how much it cost to file and that sorts. Then she said that we didnt need to go to court all I have to do is sign the papers. Then i told her this "I love you very much and im sorry that things came to this. U know that I dont want a D but I also want you to be happy even if its with out me, so I am willing to do this like mature adults. I'll sign the papers." Her reply "thank you". I replied back with "you're welcome, just dont forget me." I dont know what that means, just dont forget me and I dont know why I sent it. Maybe I shouldnt have sent it.
I started to cry a little but the tear didnt fall, maybe this is a new turning point for me. Part of me is very sad and upset and the other part is doing okay, knowing that the end is near. And all of my dreams with her are over...at least for now. I still believe that maybe someday we can get back together but maybe I shouldnt hold that hope.
So I was having a good day but now Im in the dumps...
