Your part way home. You've finally accepted your sitch for what it is. But don't get too confident either way, because NOBODY knows what the future holds for you and your M. The best thing you can do is to stay in the moment, and accept life as it comes. That doesn't mean be a doormat, or give away the store, but to stay in the moment. Don't try to predict the future, or figure out the past, just stay alert to the power that is now.
If fear is your guide then you will surely travel through life, forever the victim. Be brave, stand up and fight for what you want, and do not let anyone keep you from your mission. Your W is a hot head, a crazy woman, so you've got to be hotter, and crazier if you want to break through. The longer you wait for her to change, the further she will go. She has waited for you for many, many years already.
Don't underestimate the power you have to change your sitch. Let go your neediness, let go your expectations, and move forward. Kick the livin crap out of the fear that keeps you from having your woman. This website might help you. Making Her Happy
God Bless,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
Welcome back. I have outcrazied her in the past. She just spirals even angrier and becomes more vitriolic. She sent me an essay that my S9 wrote about Christmas, and running into his parents room to wake them up, and how happy everyone was on Christmas. WTF is she doing? It really angered me. Is she that clueless about how I feel, and about how this stuff kils me? really, again WTF?
That aside, I do not kiss her as#, as I previously have done. She sends me an occasional email, I respond when I feel like it, if at all. I'm not crusing Match.com, but it's easier to think of what life might be like alone. Much easier than before. I cannot control here vast insecurity, HER neediness, (you've never told me I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, at the 20 year mark) I will not be the robotic automoton that she is: "My opinon and stand on our marriage are the same as they have been for several years"---thanks for the news report.
By the way COG, you're right about the fear thing. Never negotiate from the position of fear. I will continue to write her and be kind when I do. Her birthday is coming up in december. I don't think a gift is appropriate under any circumstances. Remember, she couldn't find the human decency to wish me well when I left for Iraq...not Miami...Iraq!
Thinking about her birthday must be difficult. I'll be the devils advocate for just a minute (I love that role!), You could take the high road and send her a card at least....just a neutral, happy birthday card. Or go above and beyond and send her a tiny, token, unique gift from Iraq. Think about your long term relationship with her....she is still the mother of your children. Can you show her how you want (and deserve) to be treated?
You know FLTC I've been thinking about this and honestly on the fence but Matilda is right take the high road send an innocent birthday card or something like that. Show her you are a kind and considerate person without fear or anger. Just be nice and have zero expectations for your actions.
Hey also want to say thanks for posting to my thread as usual. It's good to here you are doing fairly well. Keep us posted on the REAL news from over there. I'm praying for you, your men and all the personnel there and in Afghanistan.
Last edited by catfan; 11/15/0712:37 PM.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
