Big hugs to you from somebody who understands completely. Oh yes. Been right there. Too many days to count.
I am sorry those dreadful fears have come up for you, but rest assured it's normal to feel them.
Just don't act on them -- and you aren't.
Yay Shinybear! You're keeping "what works" at the forefront of your mind, while you bear the pain of uncertainty and mistrust but look toward the light.
Excellent workpersonship.
Reading your post, I'm muy impressed. In fact, you're amazing! You let your H have his perspective! This is truly truly loving!
I don't think you can possibly know how much it helps to read your writing. I for one am really grateful for your honest wailing -- and I send acknowledgement and a big embrace.
I've wondered if I'm going INSANE sometimes. Reading that others are also INSANE makes us all seem NORMAL (lol) -- and helps me go another day.
DB-ing is a HARD NUT some days, isn't it?
But you're one strong woman and you are already a WINNER! Keep on "acting as if" your family is mending, cuz it is!
Gotta keep this short but wanted to send support. Will keep in touch. Don't forget to do something nice for YOU today!
