My Wife wants out..still!!

[dadtotwo]

Heimlich,

I can understand your question considering that our M problems were all related to money. In fairness to my W, I would not be true to her if I portrayed her as wanting a sugar daddy. That has never been her goal but just to have peace of mind that the bills were being paid, we had health insurance for our kids and could save a few bucks every month for a vacation.My W pictured her life as having 3 children, a nice place to live and not have all the stress she experienced over the last 2-3 years.

If you are able to read my original thread, you will see that this mess was mainly caused by my poor choices and trying to be the "big shot" and having my W be a SAHM while I earned. I took on a great deal of financial responsibility that I felt I could handle. When the plan wasn't working, I took the opportunity to pursue this business venture that would give us all the financial security we would ever need.

I was so determined to make it happen that I put off working full time for 2 years. With 2 small children and a house, this was foolish, but most of all, selfish!!

My W waited for me to get my act together and endured calls from bill collectors, a bankruptcy and our house going into foreclosure. By no means did she expect that her H and, father of her children, to just stop earning the way I had done before especially when I was the one to bring in the money.

I went back to work full time in June 2006 but I could was not able to get caught up and frankly I struggled under so much pressure(self induced). So after 3 years of financial stress, my W lost respect for me as a man and lost the trust for me since I was borrowing from Peter to pay Paul w/o her knowledge. I never hid anything(rarely opened up about it) but she didn't ask and admitted that she put her head in the sand.The stress and the distance between us was such that she took up an EA with OM right at the time she dropped the bomb.

I know in my heart that she truly wishes that we were not at this point. She decided that getting a D is the only solution she sees since she still says, to this day, that I cannot support our family.

So I will say, with a heavy heart, that I made very poor choices that created an avoidable financial disaster. My poor choices caused my W to lose respect for me and no longer be able to trust me. Now she wants to be responsible for her own finances as I failed to be the provider and "rock" she needs as a husband.

She has left me with our kids with no accountability for her actions(OM) or any part of reaching out to me and having us work together like we used to do years earlier. She has chosen D instead of even considering counseling or any desire to try. She has given up and no longer wants to be my partner as she has stated that she lost her partner.

So, although my posts may convey that she is only interested in money, it was the lack of it and my failure to "step up" that has us where we are today.