IMHO, well, yes, I do think he should at least understand where you are coming from and be a bit more patient. However, he has been better, right? We all have bad days, LL. Maybe he's just pissy right now.
I think it's simply a matter of when is the most appropriate time to bring up the junk, and how often is it brought up. Remember, each time you bring it up you're reminding him of his guilt. Have you determined the best time and environment in which to discuss these things with your H? It's likely he'd be more forthcoming talking in an environment in which he feels comfortable. And work typically isn't that place...
