ll - I know how badly you want validation from your H, but this is NOT getting you closer to your goal. So why, you ask, do you do this? My theory - it feels "safer" to push him away than to risk letting yourself be vulnerable in the relationship.
I know, it feels stupid to willingly let yourself be vulnerable when your S has betrayed you - but I think it is a necessary step, to embrace the fact that life is uncertain, that your S cannot give you the strength and stability you need to find in yourself, and that none of our Ses want to be with us when we are needy and clingy, but when we are strong and self-confident.
If you were to become a woman with complete faith in her own worth, would your H be more likely to respond positively? And if he didn't, wouldn't you know it wasn't about you and feel strong about moving forward in your life? Oddly enough, my DBing journey really began the day I gave up on getting the support I wanted from my H and began taking better care of myself. Ellie
