Walking The Line

[peaceful_spirit]

I know how hard this is. Just try to have faith. Your H needs to make his own decisions and hopefully, they will be the right decisions. It's all we can do to keep sane.

I think you should trust that he's not in contact with her while he's there.

[Heartbroken]

I agree - otherwise you will drive yourself crazy... My H was withdrawing from me after coming home for good. The first two months were great and then he seemed to get back into the pattern of withdrawing and I incorrectly assumed he was back to talking to OW - this did not help our sitch at all.

Keep the faith that he knows what he needs to do - and if he did talk to her what would that change for you. I asked myself this and I realized I was once again attached and could not throw him out (immediately anyways) so I choose to accept his answers as the truth. Day by day is how I go...

Take care of YOU!!

HB

[Aud31]

Thanks Peaceful and HB. I agree with you both as well, and I'm doing fine...challenging the insecurities and keeping my attitude positive.

H has called several times, he sounds open and upbeat, so I'll go with that. I kept myself pretty busy yesterday and last night, and got myself put to bed nice and early. It feels so nice!

HB--your comment..."I was once again attached and could not throw him out (immediately, anyways) so I choose to accept his answers as the truth."...really rings true for me too. Sometimes I feel confused when I think about this though, because I think that at some point enough should be enough...I guess I just haven't reached my absolute limit yet. I'm hoping I don't have to get there.

[peaceful_spirit]

Aud,
Go with yoru gut. If you feel like H is upbeat and staying in touch, then let that be your guide. You do the same. Don't question him. Don't act negative on the phone. Jsut be positive and warm.

One thing I do when my H travels is I take pictures from my cell phone of my kids doing something cute, then I text it to him. That way, it keeps him connected to home. I just did that yesterday, in fact.

Be that place of safety for him... not a place of turbulance. I know you are... I'm just reminding you (as I do to myself every day).

[Aud31]

Trying not to hyperventilate. It's late and he has not called since this morning and he's staying in her town.

Not that calls mean everything is okay. I hate this. There's just no way to know for sure.

[Phoenix_spark]

Stay tough and go with what you have learned.

[Aud31]

He just called. Told me that he went to dinner with her and her new husband this evening. Said it was awkward. He sounded funny...like it's totally normal to hang out and be "friends", but he also sounded tired and ready to come home.

I believe him, but it's all so wierd to me, and I've heard so many strange stories for so long.

[peaceful_spirit]

Hey was upfront with you about it. Look that as a positive sign. He didn't want to lie about it. That is a good thing.

[Aud31]

Thanks Peaceful. This is true--I'll just take what he said at face value and not worry about it.

[Heartbroken]

I think it's great he was honest with you - and how you react/handle it will show him how much more open he can continue to be with you!! Hang in there you are doing great!!

HB