I've posted on here already, but I feel I want to post again and say how grateful I am to have such a wonderful and understanding husband.
As many of you know, IC went for his first chemo treatment on Monday. I've been in many emotionally testing situations with IC and he's always been the one to ease the situation, either with a joke, a smile...something that would always bring me back, settle me down and let me know that things will be ok. I was apprehensive going in for the treatment and even more so after seeing some of the other families, with the hurt and fear that they too were dealing with. I began to feel myself slipping and then for the first time that I can remember, I saw fear in IC's eyes. As much as I know how scared both he and I are, I had not REALLY seen it in him until now. I understand that our reactions are perfectly normal, it's just that I was not prepared mentally for that and I withdrew. IC needed me, and I withdrew. We're not beating ourselves up over this. IC told me in his understanding way that it's ok with him that I reacted like I did...again, I am so grateful to have him in my life.
Just rambling now..I took IC's advice and took the kids out to eat so he could catch up on some sleep. I got home, put the girls to bed and went and fell asleep holding IC....it was nice . I wake up around 3 A.M. and he's gone ! I go looking for him and he's down in the basement playing his electric guitar. I stop and sit on the steps, just out of sight and listened to him play. I've never fully realized his artistic side. I sat and listened to his renditions of Ozzy, AC/DC...and of course...Ted Nugent, along with some of his own stuff. I ended up falling asleep there on the steps. I wake up this morning, with a blanket wrapped around me and a little note from IC asking if I wanted to be his "groupie" tonight and what is this about a "flying shish kabob????" He's gone off to work so I guess he's feeling a little better today . Ok, just my little story of gratitude for the day. Thanks guys for listening !
