Mark, she is avoiding you for the same reasons. Its can get difficult to approach these things. I am terrified to ask H about Disney in February (our annual trip, but its his family's timeshare). I really don't want to hear "I'm taking them on my own". Ouch City.
I think you are doing the right thing by asking her today while you are out of town. Get the plans set. I am sorry if she excludes you from visiting her family. Can you make plans another time to see them, and just say "Well, I didn't get to see them on Thanksgiving, and I missed that...."
