We did have a little chat last night, the story is that we are curlers, teams of 4 people and OM and us used to curl together. It is also a very social situation and we have decided that OM will not curl on the same nights my W does. I still see him at the club one or 2 nights a week.
Tuesday used to be our night and now the league has started so I was there as was OM. When I got home my W wondered if it would be ok for her to drop by next week to see her friends and all that. She is worried that I will be like a hawk, which I probably will, but it is also something that as part of the healing and re building we have to deal with at some point.
No idea what to do. As we talked I did dig up some old hurts and I probably should not have, It was however easily our best if one can use that term, conversation we have had on the whole ordeal. I almost felt that she feels some regret and remorse and is starting to get back to the real world. I did mention that it is by all accounts and from what I have read very easy and very tempting to slip back with the OM, the fact that the whole A was so exciting and without any of the every day pains and struggles means that it would probably be a welcome escape again for both of them.
I also said that if he ever does anything again, he will only be able to have EA, no PA. I was not freaking out, just stating a fact.
Oh well, at least we got some stuff out in the open, and under the circumstances it was what could almost call civil. My W is going away for a few days on friday so it might give her some time to think.
I almost feel that I should chat with the OM, as I said we were friends but a few months ago. He looked horrible last night, and I think in general he does not look healthy so this must be eating him up from the inside as well.
I guess I forgot to mention that when we were having our baby making issues I had a beer or three most every night, When the bomb came falling down from the sky, I made a decision to make sure I can deal with all this from a sober point and I did start to work out almost like an animal, so I am healthier and stronger than I probably have ever been. I do still like my beer though, but I am not escaping or using it drown my sorrows.
Probably will blabber some more as Limbo urges me on,
