Nut, you are right.. don't play the game. How do I respond?? Nunya? She then retaliates with "I tell you about what I'm doing" She did ask.. she also asked what she looked like (again.. this is what I really feel she was interested in.. it was the immediate topic after the "I really want to talk to you")
UGH.. I agree it's a power check and I don't want to give in too much.
I'm actually not surprised at how quickly it worked.. it fits. She see's her power fading and tries to exert it again.
Still just trying to figure out the proper way to respond etc.
One way of saying MYOB without saying it is to say "why do you ask?" It puts her on the spot to explain her inappropriate interest. She will have to come up with some reason other than "I want to make sure you are still available to me if I want you."
If she responds that she has idle curiosity, then tell her to mind her own business.
When my H talks about me cheating (HA!), I say something like "If you can explain WHY you care..." and it leaves him speechless. He doesn't ask nearly as much as your wife does. WOW.
She is trying to cake eat, and gets frustrated when you don't let her.
Great going. She is begining to panic as the safety net is taken away.
Agree with all the comments (apart from not using the dark side of the Force...metallic breathing sounds), it sounds like she is a user and needs to be validated all the time. Failing to do that means that she does the chasing.
My suggestion if she asks about her, just respond with 'you look nice' and resist any temptation to go further than that.
I think you let her in again. Man why does that woman call so much? Would it be possible to just keep letting it roll to voice mail? Or just come out and tell her listen I want to keep our convo's only limited to our daughter's. I am not interested in your sexual life. Nor should you be with mine. I am done playing these games with you. I am trying to move on. Do you think that would be to harsh? Or could it change things around for the better if she finally is told she is losing YOU.
Telling her MYOB or asking why she's interested will definitely put her on the spot. My W's standard response to this was "I'm just curious. If you don't want to tell me, fine. I don't care, do what you want."
Depending on how detached you are, the above could be a blow to your PMA or could boost it.
Latest Thread
Me: 39/W: 37 D13-D11-S8 M/T 14/20
EA confirmed: 9/13/07 D-Bomb: 9/19/07 OM Gone since 12/18/07 W wants to fix marriage: 3/16/07
I agree and now don't feel so bad about my confused state. Seems nobody has a good answer!!
So.. not much sleep again last night.. might need to get some Tylenol PM. REALLY don't want to do that, but might have to.
Dropped D's off this morning.. on the way to school, D5 & D3 are telling me about how one evening Mommy had to run back home to get D3's blanket and baby. She had left D's with OM and D3 started screaming. I asked what OM did and D5 says "Nothing.. he just put her in a room until she stopped crying"
D5 "We always go to (OM kids) house".
I asked if she liked going to their house and she said yes... they have lots of fun.
So.. great motivation to be distant and dark on W!!
Dropped the D's. Played off as much as possible. W said "Hey.. I really like our talk last night" which is funny because we really didn't talk.
Now.. I stared at her for a minute.. thought about what to say and gave a forced "Me too"
She asked what was wrong and I said "Nothing" then moved on to getting the D's where they need to go.
Oh yeah.. D3 starts talking about a BF.. nice.. W thinks it's cute. I think it's disgusting.
Also.. W hands me a little reminder note of dates. She must have something planned the night before Thanksgiving as she has asked me to watch the D's. She of course used the "I'm watching them for your Xmas party" line. touchee.
I have this saved as a text doc on my desktop.. it's saved as motivation. It's the email reply from W to OM:
YOU ARE HILARIOUS!!! Thanks for the warning my dear, I will be on the lookout for jarhead! It's always nice to know that my (boyfriend is looking out for me.) I love you very much OM, it's kind of scary that I have fallen for you as hard as I did, but it feels right! It's also not hard to do when you treat me so well! Hope I do the same for you?"
Yours,
W
Names have been changed to protect.. DOH!! anyway.
I think I'm going to read this everytime I get confused about W.
I really want to tell her I know about her profession of love. I know that she plans on taking them to Thanksgiving. I want to chew her out.
