Really it's the alien speaking. Pretty much anything I do triggers her. She knows it too. The problem is she doesn't make an effort in controlling her triggers or anger. Actually we had a talk tonight just about that. Somehow she thinks that when she doesn't react anymore, it means she could care less what I think. I told her no it just means you are making a conscious effort in not escalating the vicious cycle we continue to go through.
I've actually only heard to first two lines. She has never complained about me being controlling or not consult her about decisions. I can admit that it is very possible sometimes she misunderstands me due to the way I talk or my tone of voice when I get agitated or emotional. I can see that from the way my dad talks/acts. Of course it's never my intention to be like that and I'm trying to not come across that way. Listening to her all I hear is "when you do this" "when you do that" "when you act this way". A lot of you you you. I said to her, if you are going to always look at me and depend on me to not behave or act a certain way then we'll never get anywhere. We both need to make a major effort in stop the triggers. We cannot depend on the other person to behave certain in order for us to act a certain way. At least she agrees. That doesn't mean she'll follow through with it though....
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
