new here. Feel like dying

[ms ladybug]

Well, after not hearing from h for a couple days, he called me last night. He told me that I hadn't replied to his email and he needs to know if I'm going to agree with his conditions or not. I told him that I was trying to show him that I'm doing what he asked (going to counseling, scheduled an appt with pschiatrist for eval, etc...). He said what about the rest of it. Would I be willing to move to TN?
I told him I'd look into it with more of an open-mind. (I HATE the idea of moving to TN. We went last summer to look and I didn't like it, and don't want to move away from where ALL of our family is!). I told him there was no way I'd go to TN with a crappy marriage. But with mutual love and respect, I'd follow him to Timbuktoo. He said he didn't think I'd have an open-mind, then had to get off the phone (he was at work). He called me again at midnight, but I was asleep, so he let me go.

My MC thinks that I should also write out my conditions (although she didn't like the word "conditions"). I told her I didn't think I was in a position to do that. She said, "what have you got to lose? He's already gone." I didn't get good vibes from her and she even recommended we find another therapist (to get a second opinion). I think she's fed up with us.

So, should I also give "conditions"? Like, agree to a Bible study with me, agree to continue marriage counseling (either with our current MC, or hopefully with a new one who specializes in cop's families)?
I don't know if that'll make him angry and push him further away, but I kinda feel like I need changes made as well.
What do I say about TN? He knows how I feel about it. I DON'T want to go and cannot go live somewhere where I don't know anyone, have no family, and a crappy marriage.

Any advice? Harsh or otherwise?