Matilda and HB,
It looks like we're entering some turbulence today.

My W left two angry messages on my voice mail complaining about what still needs to be done, and that I'm not doing enough. As hard as I've worked on housecleaning this past weekend, and helping her with her PT job, this doesn't seem valid.

The complaints center around a guest room that needs organized, yardwork that needs to be done, and her pushing me to make more money. I spent the morning finishing washing the pots and pans from Sunday. She didn't like the quality of my work. The handyman was in this morning to install a gas line for the new stove, and possibly the place wasn't as clean as she would have liked.

She had the day off yesterday, and spent the day watching movies (which is fine), so I'm having difficulty not getting reactive about it. I'm not going to respond to these messages.

I pulled out a copy of "Coping with Difficult People" and found a section on Complainers--those who gripe incessantly, but not in a spirit of problem-soving. I need help detaching from her difficult behavior, or I may get reactive. I hope I can find some concrete, proactive coping skills.

She's been talking about her frustration in continuing to smoke. She has been coughing recently. She gives me guidance on how I should live my life when she dies. A former colleague of hers, who is about the same age, died recently of cancer of the throat.

I left a number for smoking cessation phone counseling on her desk. I told her it's the next step to start seeking help, and break the pattern of paralysis. She doesn't have to make any commitments yet.

I'm planning on attending a yoga class after work. She's invited.

CL

Last edited by Concerned_Listener; 11/13/07 07:01 PM.
CL 53 W 54
M 20 yrs.
03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL
10-14' Piecing

"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."

----Tao Te Ching