There is a good book called, "His Needs, Her Needs".. I forget the author. Anyway, talk about how men's and women's needs are very different, yet it's important to meed each other's needs.
It wasn't until recently that I understood just how important sex is to an R and how important it is for my H. I always had the perception that sex was an extra (I now know better). But it was a learning process for me.
It seems clear to me that your fiancee doesn't get that yet, either. Perhaps you can talk to her about her needs... wht they are and how you can better meet them. Then you need to tell her what your needs are and explain to her (again) that this is a key need for you and it's how you express your love for her. I would also talk about what can be done on that front to make it better for her.
For example, and this may sound mean, but I told my H that I get turned on when he's cleanly shaven, showered and smells nice. Often when he wants to have sex, he has cigar breath and hasn't shaven (which gives me a rash on my face). So, he has made an effort in that area and I can get more in the mood when those littel things are in place. That's just one example.
We've also talked about how sometimes it will just be down and dirty sex... wham bam thank you mam (which doesn nothing for me, but with our two young kids, sometimes it's necessary)... and other times it will be more romance... candles, lights off, kids in bed for the night... take our time. And by having this conversation, we identified a way to meet both our needs. I have shed this idea of sex can only happen when we have time to really get into it and have romance. The simple fact of understanding this has made it better.
I am trying to give you perspective as a woman who was never really interested in sex until recently.
Communication is KEY! You must find a way to communicate this to her. But the ways you've commuinicated in the past havent' worked, right? So find a new approach. Someone recommended MC. I think that's a great idea.
have you also considered the possibilty that she's not happy with her body or her image? Maybe she doesn't feel sexual becuase she doesn't feel sexy.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
