Love, what is it, is it real, does it matter?

[Heartbroken]

LN,

Again your posts today are amazing - they help me so so much!!!

About your confusion - welcome to the club!!! I like to think my H and I had true intimacy at one time and not THAT long ago - I think things started breaking down for him after our March 2005 trip to Vegas. I think he started detaching somewhat then and it progressively got worse as he got closer to my friend OW...but I knew none of this until August 2006. So we have not been on the same page for some time...

I often question my sanity - why I continue trying so hard - and for me it comes down to our family unit. I had children to be a part of the 'team' with H and I. H always treated me like a partner up until this crisis and I keep trying so we can once again be partners and the family team. I know I do not need him, I WANT HIM, but I feel my kids NEED both of us. I could D and find another mate and not make the same mistakes but what about the new mate - he too will have his own issues & baggage - at least with my H I know the good with the bad.

So I plug along though I have doubts DAILY. I try to remain positive especially around H - but even then I still backslide once a week (hey it's better than daily like it used to be). I am learning to have faith and trust in it will turn out how it is suppossed to for both H and myself...Baby Steps!

You keep posting - I get so much from them!!!

Thanks!

HB