I always have to initiate it, and most of the time I get shot down.
That hurts, doesn't it?
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I have to be persistent and almost beg for it.
Begging. Now, I bet that's a real turn-on for her.
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She tells me that my timing is bad, but I have tried it at all different times of the day, morning/night.
Your timing IS bad. Your "time" was the first year of the relationship. Now, it's her time, and you're wasting it by begging for sex. Oh, and here's a clue: it will NEVER BE YOUR TIME AGAIN.
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I have tried to explain to her over and over that having sex with her is how I stay connected and loved. She says she understands, but doesn't really take any action. . . .She makes light of the fact that sex is how I connect with her, she thinks I'm just a horny typical guy,
Here's another clue: It's not that she thinks you're a "horny typical guy". It's that she doesn't care about you, your wants, your needs, your desires, your wishes. Everything she tells you: wrong time of day to approach me for sex, you're a horny typical guy, "no", "maybe later", "not now", etc, she tells you to get you to STOP WANTING SEX.
So, you're having sex once a week with a woman who does not want to have sex with you. Chew that for a bit. Tasty? No? Bitter? Yep. Well, just like gum that has lost its flavor, it's not going to magically get tasty again.
The "horny typical guy" comment is particularly disturbing to me. When you heard that the first time, were you inclined to deny it? Who wants to be considered "typical"? Plus, wasn't she saying it in response to your comment that "having sex with her is how I stay connected and loved"? So, in actuality she was saying, "you are telling me bullsh!t to try to manipulate me into having sex with you, which is a strategy used by most men, and such men only use touchy-feely words like 'stay connected' in order to fool women into having sex with them in hopes of a better 'connection', because typical men think that typical women want a 'connection.'"
Maybe, when she said that you were a "typical horny guy", you tried even harder to convince her that it was about love, and that you really aren't some kind of savage and it's not about the pleasure that you derive, but rather, about the deep feelings you have for each other, and how you wish to only share it with her, blah blah blah.
Meanwhile, she is thinking, "hah...got him on the defensive already, and he's busy trying to argue his way out of the "typical horny guy" bag I just put him in, and, frankly, I couldn't care less about what bag he's in, just as long as I don't have to fark him today. Mission accomplished."
You don't want to leave her because you "love her," but I don't think you'd be here, asking advice on this issue if you truly loved her and wanted to be married to her. Because, if you truly loved her and wanted to be married to her, then you'd accept her as she is, without any reservations, without any desire to change her. (and then you could spend the REST OF YOUR MARRIED LIFE being HAPPY with her, and not concerned at all that you haven't had sex with her for MONTHS. Or YEARS. Believe me, what is inconceivable for you right now, will become your reality. If you're okay with that, then ding dong wedding bells are ringing, and best wishes and mazel tov to you.)
Sorry if this seems harsh. Basically, I just wanted to tell you to GET OUT NOW. I guess I got a little wordy.
