The girls are giving some great input. This monster has many arms and legs, so there will be many things to consider as you plan your future.
Become the superior man and live the better life within the family home. Do not retreat from life's challenges. Let her make her mistakes. Let her clean up her mistakes. Be there for the kids and do not let anyone think you do not intend to stand and fight for your home and children first, you M second. With or without a M, you will always be a dad and deserve a family home.
Reality for her will be that men she meets will have concerns about dating a M woman seriously. It will become an obstacle to her she will want more and more to eliminate. When someone says they want out of the M, they should be ready walk the walk. If it comes to it, be humble and kind as you show her the door and put her on the curb. That is where reality begins and fantasy ends. Help her pack and move to the apt as she plans out her own future.
It is not practical to let her live alone in the home as if she were D, making it easy for her to imagine a D as a better option than the M ... and her getting to call all the shots. More and more women are filing, something like 70% of the cases today. A growing number are leaving kids with the H so they can "live free".
Life is not free. She must begin to understand her choices will have consequences. Her decisions will touch other lives, not just yours. If she finds the idea of living in the apt unacceptable, perhaps you should discuss mutually changing the nature of your investments to include two separate homes within the same school area; while she enjoys dating and planning her future.
Good luck in what may become a long journey. Your focus should not be just saving the M. If you loose yourself along the way, you loose regardless. Focus on living your best life as a person and parent, and a wonderful spouse if that is what she wants. Set your priorities before you accept your sacrifices.
