sounds like you are heading in the right direction.. just not far enough :-)
your email put it on her shoulders, to fix you.
I think that you need to put effort in YOURSELF, to look up some counsellors, and ask her, "what do you think of these?" rather than putting all the burden to find one, on her.
(and GO HOME!!! )
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle