If she is reading then maybe she can create an account and post also. I mean if she disagree's with people then she van voice her opinion.
I've also thought it would be interesting to see her post on here. I've read a few posts from other WAS's and it is helpful to get their perspective on things.
Quote:
She can't disagree with the fact that it is terrible that a spouse has an affair and breaks up a marriage. That children who deserve an intact family will always wonder why this happened. There will come a day when they do find out the truth and then will they ever look at the cheating parent the same way. Kid's are forever changed when they go through a divorce. The ideal of it always looks way easier then to fix the hard problems we are faced with. It is the chicken's way out and unfortunately this world we live in is just so numb anymore the word divorce. It is the fix all to everything. They will be magically happy again. They don't really think about how the children feel when they are shipped off from parent to parent. It tears them apart that they don't know each year who they are going to spend Christmas with. They can't even fully enjoy the holiday anyway because either way they are missing one parent. When they go to a friend's house and they see other parents in love it hurts them. They feel shame in talking about how their parents are divorced. They go through this life of living like this. But believe me children will wonder why this happened. WHY their family was ripped apart. That's when you get to say to them Hope that you loved their mother very much. You wanted more then anything to save this marriage. But she had affair and it broke up the marriage. She wanted out to find herself and her happiness. Right now she is only in her fantasy world where she can have her fun. She isn't really understanding or wanting to think about what this will do to her children for the rest of their lives.
Ouch!! If she's still reading my posts, she's gonna dislike you Trying!!
I agree with everything you say, and as we both came from divorced families, I never wanted to see this happen to us. She does acknowledge this as one possible outcome, but she believes that since we are both caring, good parents that things will be different. That after the D, we will still be able to jointly raise the kids in a healthy, balanced, loving atmosphere. She has also told me many times that this is not a selfish act because she wants me to find the happiness that she feels she can't give me.
I'm not convinced on either count. I'm very much concerned with how the kids will adapt to living in a joint custody situation and I do believe that we could give each other the love that we deserve if we give it time and effort.
