That is so rough. I cannot even bear the thought of my W taking my kids around the OM; it makes me nuts thinking about the time W brought the %@$^@&#! OM into my very home, right before the bomb (while I was away at work at that time, of course). SO NOT RIGHT!
I admire the grace with which you have handled this situation. Your wife is playing some really nasty games with you. The only way to protect yourself and your daughters is to not play.
Work on being the best dad that you can be. As the girls grow, they will see that and admire you for it. At this point, the best that you can do is be the best example you can in order to counter some of the crud that your W is dishing out to your kids.
Kids like structure, even if they resist it. In time, your Ds will thank you for being Marine dad--they will always walk all over their mother.
It's funny.. I've started getting a myspace page up and running and my headline reads "That which doesn't kill you only makes you stronger"
That's how I feel.
Not sure what the last update was, but W called and talked to D's. I kept it very brief. She said something to the effect of "If you need anything you can text me" I said "OK.. see you tomorrow" and hung up quickly.
Had a hard time sleeping last night.. wonder why?
Girls slept great.. D3 got up early, but that's OK.
Took D's to school this morning.. I'm working from home, but I got dressed up in some nice "going out" clothes.
On the way to school, D3 mentioned OM and his kids. Barf D5 asked who has them during Thanksgiving (She is uber smart) and I said Mom does. D5 "Yay!! We get to bring (OM's kids) to grandma's for Thanksgiving!!)
So... ever see a 6'6" 215lb man cry? Neither did they.. almost.
I'm being systematically replaced. Sucks HARD.
Anyway... dropped D's off and basically ignored W. She asked questions and I answered. She asked if I was off today and I told her I was working from home. She said I looked handsome and I said thanks. Didn't return the comment.
As the girls were leaving, I could tell she was bothered by how much I was ignoring her.. I was walking D5 to class and she asked me to stop back by. I asked "Why?" and she waved me off.
As D3 and I were heading to her class (have to go by W's again) D3 wanted to stop by. I asked W what she wanted.. "Just wanted to ask how the kids did" "They did fine" "Are you ignoring me?" "No"
Took D3 to class and left.
I know she will call later.. maybe not.
I'm dark.. I'm Darth Vader.. can't get much darker than that.
I am glad that I've been invited to friends and families for Thanksgiving, but just picturing them all together... well... you get the idea. I wonder if the thought will ever cross any of their minds.. MIL/FIL/BIL/W.
You will not be replaced as your kids' father. You are the one who is always there, consistent and steady. The relationship between your wife and OM will eventually end, and who will still be there for the girls?...Jarhead. When the girls need guidance from an adult, who will they turn to?...Jarhead. When the girls need a parent who will say no, who will do it?...Jarhead.
It may not be a very sexy job, but it is an important and honorable one. Do it well because your kids need at least one grown-up parent. When your girls have kids, who's example will they follow?...Jarhead's.
On the way to school, D3 mentioned OM and his kids. Barf
Been there done that sooo many times. I actually did barf one time. 2 days post bomb, I was driving the girls to the pool, they filled me in on their week, had seen OW and her kids every single day. I asked a friend to watch them for a minute when we arrived at the pool, and went and threw up.
Emotional stress, meet physical body.......
HUGS jar, I mean Darth.
Sorry about Thanksgiving. I know it'll be hard on you.
So... ever see a 6'6" 215lb man cry? Neither did they.. almost.
I'm being systematically replaced. Sucks HARD.
It only feels like it but I can tell you from experience that that isn't/won't be the case. You will always be Dad(the Man). I have been through all those emotions you are experiencing about being replaced. I can not claim to know where or how your marriage will end up but you have a bond with your children that can't be broken.
Jar, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I know it hurts so badly. You will never be replaced even though it feels like it.
I have two quotes that I have posted on the wall beside my desk. They seem to help me when I'm having a bad day.
"Comfort and prosperity have never enriched the world as adversity has done. Out of pain and problems have come the sweetest songs, the most poignant poems, the most gripping stories. Out of suffering and tears have come the greatest spirits and the most blessed lives." Billy Graham
I know you're watching over me And I'm feeling truly blessed For no matter what I pray for you always know the best.
(((((Hugs))))))
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Yep... that's the part I overlook and appreciate you guys keeping me on track.
W is trying to replace me, but she can never replace me as their father.
That feels good... Makes me wonder... I wonder how he feels when the D's talk about me. I wonder how they feel when the D's say they miss me.. want to be with me.
I know he's got his pile of doo doo to deal with, but maybe that's the Karma kicking him in the @$$.
You are the man. I couldn't handle that. At the moment, OM is being uber nice to kids because he wants something. First time he shouts at them....who will they cry for...Jar...oops, meant Darth.
Keep going with the friendly but short convo's. W will start chasing you soon.
P.S. Homer is not the best father, but he is a hero. Woo Hoo.
She's already reaching... she called saying that D5 had a rough drop off.. I forgot to do homework with her.. she needs to talk.
I'll call later.. maybe.
I did forget to do homework with D5, but I've not seen them in 5 days. I was having tooo much fun. Besides, it's not much and we can double up tonight.
She said that she wouldn't be able to do any Thursday night which doesn't make sense.. her friend is *supposedly* watching them, and she's a teacher as well. She can do homework with D5!!
Can't resist.. "D's... I am your father" I have the deep voice too!!
